Father,
please watch over mum and dad as they journey to Beijing. Grant them journey mercy, good health and safety throughout the trip. Also, please watch over the young and old at home and keep them well. Thank You :)
In Jesus's name,
Amen

美人魚 快 乐

amidst the inner confusion and the tears over the months, I realised, I grew up...

1:15 AM

Lee: what I do to my children or any other people is out of christian love, more so for my own children
me: okay i understand im not angry... im not saying you all are wrong
Lee: My stress comes from my planning for my 3 children, taking care of my parents and wife and from my work too. Hope you appreciate
me: im just very stressed also, have to consider about helping u all save money, decent place, good environement i appreciate but i hope you all also understand tt im not having fun here, im also thinking of ways to do good to everyone... and repay you all...and its not easy. nobody;s life is easy
Lee: so we are even and same in the same boat
me: ill pray about it and see where God leads la. go do your work and dont worrie... God is with me ill only come out of all these more like Him
Lee: ok bye bye and take care sweety
me: I love you dad just remember that
Lee: ok
me: -hugz-
Lee: hug you too
me: hee send mummy a hug from me tonight byebye!

An accomodation issue, turned into a concern, into worry. A parent's love misintepreted as tryin to exert control. Inappropriate communication over time, led to a lack of understanding of both parties..till it exploded one evening.. :(

But, times have changed... that poignant little girl has learnt humility and compromise, and above all respect. It pierced my heart as i said all i said to my father...

over the months, Ive finally come to realise the deep love of parents for their child. I cant empathsie fully cause im not one myself. But suddenly, my views have changed. its as if the roles have changed.. No longer do i want to be that little daddy's girl who just asks and expects to receive whatever.

I dont want to cast my burdens on them, I dont want them to react according to MY life and my circumstances.. But i want to be strong and tough. I want my parents to lean on me for support. I want to be someone who encourages them in their walk with God, to help them see the beauty among the thorns in life... I want to take care of them and worry about them - make sure they are safe and well and happy above all.

Its pretty weird isnt it? esp when they are still funding my education and providing for some of my physical needs ")

G is right.. no one can and should ever turn against the hand that raised them up.. that love and care.. is so deep.

"We love because God first loved us"

In the last 1 month, I held on to God so tightly, more than ive ever had. And i know, i can write all these today because He has enabled me to. he has put His joy in my heart and it is better than being anywhere else in this world.

He is my hope for tomorrow and my strength. He is my maker, my deliverer, my fortress and my rock. In whom, I will never be shaken.

Through the storms that are hailing, I will ride the waves with Him, and let Him teach me His ways.

I will graciously accept His sovereign will for me and for those i care for, and I will graciously smile and make peace. for this is the love that Christ has called us to. No more grudges, no more being silly and sad- why should there be sadness?

Christ has risen and will come again to restore this world... Love is beautiful... God is all around this place, not only with me, but those who know Him. I know they are beautiful too...

What is lost, will be found!

though the sun shines today, but i know storms will always be near...

Yet what matters is that it still shines, and will ultimately be 7 times brighter..

That day,

"He will make her deserts like Eden,

her wastelands like the garden of the Lord

Joy and gladness will be found in her,

thanksgiving and the sound of singing."- Isaiah 51:3

*great big smile* as i continue to reflect on the lessons He wants me to learn, and commit to memory!

<<听妈妈的话 别让她受伤 想快快长大 才能保护她>>- Jay Chou

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4cGWEPbYUtg

- Belated Mother's day pressie for you mum!

some 2 weeks ago, space monkeys had an outing- our first! but in the end, more brothers joined us for a wonderful picnic and frisbee at the Botanics. Guess who are the 4 other monkeys?!?
thank God for the great weather, food and brothers.

You are Ariel. You are beautiful but impaired. At times you are naïve. Still, your innocence and good heart make you sought after and loved.

关怀方式

寂寞開在心事旁
隨手種一些傷感
不讓星星來窺探
找個沉默的夜晚

找個沉默的夜晚
不讓星星來窺探
隨手種一些傷感
寂寞開在心事旁

我的關懷方式是你無法察覺的悲涼
只能在你不經意時才鎖上我心房
你往常的親切友善
是我今生的遺憾
受傷後無悔的埋在不流露的臉上

"I am a mistake"

there are many things which i want to say, things, which are true.
but i know they are probably going to influence people in a less positive way, so its probably best left unspoken. 4 months and counting, thats how i lead my life... a melody unspoken.
This.... is

"its okay. just pray"- thats my chorus, over and over till im dried up inside.

Talking to myself

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, and He will make your paths straight"- Proverbs 3:5-6

the inner woman is fighting every single minute, it is tough, but i know at the pivotal moment, she will still be strong and peservere. because the Lord is good, Because He lives in her. Because She has, like many others, His ressurection power.

Keep remembering, meditate on it day and night till it gets deeply engrained in your heart, girl...

i want to be joyful every single second of the day, i really do

"joy, is not the absence of pain, but having the Presence of God."

father, life is never easy, and sometimes, we lose sight of the things that matter most. many a times, we replace you with things we can see on earth. Help us then, with your grace.. to re-focus our goals and passions on You.
mAy our lives, and our entire being truly centre around You.
For those you love who are sitting for exams, please guide them and provide them with the capacity to do well. By your grace, it shall be done....

tHANK YoU LoRd, iN aDvANCe :)

His mercies are new every morning
Great is His faithfulness!
His compassions are unfailing and everlasting..
so I shall wait, quietly,
for His salvation.
He will never disappoint anyone who's hope is in Him.

im the biggest fool of all

:(
so I pray
the wind is howling outside like some crazy wolf.
the weather changes like everything. like moods. like people.

Im going to crawl into bed, read my fav book, fold some stars, and sleep.
under my nice covers.

"Lord, please keep us safe and warm tonight, and not let anyone fall ill before the exams. may your love bring us warmth. protect us throughout this windy week..."

still a fool.

With Love, To Jesus

This is a crazy life.

Thursday
wake- 645am for work
walked 45 min to gartnavel hospital
start work 730am
told them i had to go off at 930am (haha)
sneaked to the the library, planted myself on the computers and did coursework for 6 whole hours, usng specialist texts and what have you. hope medical illustration has helped me scan the pics.
took the 430pm bus back to the western
gave tuition to the yr 1s till 630pm
home- knackered but completed courework anyway

Friday
wake 830am (almost late!) for PBL. almost wanted to miss it
after which went to morrisons.
bumped into max, gave him a ride home- i think i appeared too nice. its not good to be tooo generous sometimes, people get embarassed when they feel they have to return the favour
cooked THAI GREEN CURRY for the yr 3s with my new recipe! *high five*
230pm- started on my first PBl question.. fell asleep for 20 min on the sofa :(
4pm- left house for ACTION GROUP.
630pm- went back to SL to do PBl
1130pm- left for home.
1am- finished making fruit salad for today..
crashed

saturday
615am- wake for 7am work at the western
7-11am: being a successful vampire, drawing bloods from several dozens
came home, did some tidyin up. left for the Botanics for "space monkey" outing!
haha will post pictures soon and you can guess who's part of this 5-ver gang.
430pm- home... my calfs are dying. im SO tired. I really am....

Lessons Ive learnt:
1. being a witness for Christ Jesus is not just about saying the words and telling people they need the Lord. its about being a living testimony (it adds power to your words and is soooo influential), living as Christ were in you.

2. its not about getting what i need, or what i think the kingdom needs- but its sometimes, making yourself nothing and offering other services nothing to do with church to people. even if seems like they are "making use of you" . you get what i mean. theres a fine line between stupidity and humility. but be careful, what seems like foolishness to this world may not be so in the eyes of jesus.

3. love your patients and never demand you way around the wards. for even if you are in a commanding position, you need not BE superior like its "supposed" to be. You do not need power to be influential.

4. But work hard, measure yourself against the standards of God and not Man. competence is what gains people's trust in you, coupled with compassion and care. God strived excellence.

5. do not seek rewards for yourself, because if you do, youd be hurting when rejection finds you straight in your face. not once, not twice.... but even more. Seek First His kingdom and His righteousness, and all the rest will be given to you. Seek God. He's all we need in this life and forever. there is great joy in surrendering :)

6. if you must, excuse yourself and cry behind toilet doors. but when you do, allow only 5 min. "its not about me Jesus, its about you."

It's the road less taken, but i know He's love has never left you since yesteryears
It's a long and winding road, I hope you enjoy every twist and turn.

That Promise

the flowers on Carfrae Street are really beautiful. I always stop by that house to enjoy them, even plucked one for babes sometime! its the right shade of purple :) so delicate, so lovely. Thank you lord, that you help me stop and smell the "roses" even though life is getting more and more busy. thank you for helping me find space to breathe in fresh air and new life. Im learning to value the time spent with you, learning to make it a priority. Indeed, it is in surrendering all to him, that true JOY and PEACE flows.

on the way to the gym, along kelvinway, i saw a little 3 yr old girl running after her own shadow. What a adorable sight! that innocence, vibrance and untainted beauty.. it seems almost like the perfect creation, masterpiece. here's a baby photo i found... so cute!!! *my cell leaders are having a baby in sept! its baby fever*

Babies, children... they have hardly any fears. They try to walk, they fall to their face, but they are up on their feet again.

as life experiences accumulates and this world influences us.. *bad bad*, we start to fear so much. Dont you think so?

fear of losing out

fear of being hurt

fear of letting go

fear of regret

fear of persecution

fear of disappointing and failing expectations

fear of people

fear of the past

fear of rejection

fear of weakness

and the list goes on.

We werent made to fear. if we need to, it should only be Father. everything else doesnt come from God, but the evil one.

We were made to be strong in Christ jesus.

Strong in His ressurection power.

let go, and let live..

For God works for the good of all who love Him.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be...

As a man thinks in his *heart*, so is he.
Proverbs 23:7

Just say the word
Matthew 8:8

that road.

coursework- non cardia gastric cancer
green curry with my new recipe!
guang Liang
The Lord Jesus
a bouquet of flowers
Tiredness
Endless Revision
Scary Summer
Phlebotomy
Accomodation
"kai shou"
saturday
that night sky by the beach
gym
*plaster*
new dance choreo
persevere in Prayer

thoughts, in random order.
i'm really tired.