amidst the inner confusion and the tears over the months, I realised, I grew up...
1:15 AM
Lee: what I do to my children or any other people is out of christian love, more so for my own children
me: okay i understand im not angry... im not saying you all are wrong
Lee: My stress comes from my planning for my 3 children, taking care of my parents and wife and from my work too. Hope you appreciate
me: im just very stressed also, have to consider about helping u all save money, decent place, good environement i appreciate but i hope you all also understand tt im not having fun here, im also thinking of ways to do good to everyone... and repay you all...and its not easy. nobody;s life is easy
Lee: so we are even and same in the same boat
me: ill pray about it and see where God leads la. go do your work and dont worrie... God is with me ill only come out of all these more like Him
Lee: ok bye bye and take care sweety
me: I love you dad just remember that
Lee: ok
me: -hugz-
Lee: hug you too
me: hee send mummy a hug from me tonight byebye!
me: okay i understand im not angry... im not saying you all are wrong
Lee: My stress comes from my planning for my 3 children, taking care of my parents and wife and from my work too. Hope you appreciate
me: im just very stressed also, have to consider about helping u all save money, decent place, good environement i appreciate but i hope you all also understand tt im not having fun here, im also thinking of ways to do good to everyone... and repay you all...and its not easy. nobody;s life is easy
Lee: so we are even and same in the same boat
me: ill pray about it and see where God leads la. go do your work and dont worrie... God is with me ill only come out of all these more like Him
Lee: ok bye bye and take care sweety
me: I love you dad just remember that
Lee: ok
me: -hugz-
Lee: hug you too
me: hee send mummy a hug from me tonight byebye!
An accomodation issue, turned into a concern, into worry. A parent's love misintepreted as tryin to exert control. Inappropriate communication over time, led to a lack of understanding of both parties..till it exploded one evening.. :(
But, times have changed... that poignant little girl has learnt humility and compromise, and above all respect. It pierced my heart as i said all i said to my father...
over the months, Ive finally come to realise the deep love of parents for their child. I cant empathsie fully cause im not one myself. But suddenly, my views have changed. its as if the roles have changed.. No longer do i want to be that little daddy's girl who just asks and expects to receive whatever.
I dont want to cast my burdens on them, I dont want them to react according to MY life and my circumstances.. But i want to be strong and tough. I want my parents to lean on me for support. I want to be someone who encourages them in their walk with God, to help them see the beauty among the thorns in life... I want to take care of them and worry about them - make sure they are safe and well and happy above all.
Its pretty weird isnt it? esp when they are still funding my education and providing for some of my physical needs ")
G is right.. no one can and should ever turn against the hand that raised them up.. that love and care.. is so deep.
"We love because God first loved us"
In the last 1 month, I held on to God so tightly, more than ive ever had. And i know, i can write all these today because He has enabled me to. he has put His joy in my heart and it is better than being anywhere else in this world.
He is my hope for tomorrow and my strength. He is my maker, my deliverer, my fortress and my rock. In whom, I will never be shaken.
Through the storms that are hailing, I will ride the waves with Him, and let Him teach me His ways.
I will graciously accept His sovereign will for me and for those i care for, and I will graciously smile and make peace. for this is the love that Christ has called us to. No more grudges, no more being silly and sad- why should there be sadness?
Christ has risen and will come again to restore this world... Love is beautiful... God is all around this place, not only with me, but those who know Him. I know they are beautiful too...
What is lost, will be found!
though the sun shines today, but i know storms will always be near...
Yet what matters is that it still shines, and will ultimately be 7 times brighter..
That day,
"He will make her deserts like Eden,
her wastelands like the garden of the Lord
Joy and gladness will be found in her,
thanksgiving and the sound of singing."- Isaiah 51:3
*great big smile* as i continue to reflect on the lessons He wants me to learn, and commit to memory!
- Belated Mother's day pressie for you mum!
