Breathe

DON'T LET THE GOATS EAT THE LOQUAT TREES
Adventures of a Surgeon in Nepal
-Thomas Hale

Dr Hale is an incredible storyteller and his book is most difficult to lay aside. It makes the amazing and almost unbelievable expriences of a medical doctor in a mysterious land come alive. Be prepared for an utterly delightful account of serving God in the enchanting and "closed" mountai canopy of Nepal.
-Ted Engstrom, President, World Vision.

At the end of his introduction it is written:
"several years before our departure for Nepal, I fully rededicated my life to Christ. I happened to be reading the book or Revelation, and there I discovered (or, better, redscovered) these words addressed to the Christians in Ephesus: "I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance...Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.." (Rev 2:2-5).
How could I have overlooked these verses for all those years I cant say, but i suddenly saw God was giving me one last chance. And I took it. A few paragraphs further on, my eye rested on the well-known words of Jesus that had meant much to me years before: "Here i am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me" (Rev 3:20)So I opened the door, and He came in. He had been waiting there all the time."

Forsaking the first love.
i am convinced it is not merely a syndrome of a fading sentiment,
but it is as well reflected through our actions, words and thoughts.
the greatest commandment in the bible says
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind, and love your neighbours as you love yourself."
how is it supposed to be like when we have truly loved our neighbours?
who sets the practical standards for demonstrating love?
what happens when we err...
does one mistake condemm all that it was worth?

I question myself everyday,
how i have loved my neighbours, or how, i Have not loved them.
it never is black or white.
i never am satisfied.
thats why i am convinced i should never stop trying.

yet when caught in the middle of crossfires, misunderstood intentions and actions and the conequences of 1's own mistakes, the trying seems to become more challenging.
it seems easier to adopt a "heck care its okay, itd be over, this is life anyway" attitude than "be sad and reflect deeply and constantly pray for the relationship".

dwelling into it too deeply is pointless and drainning,i highly agree.
yet if we lose the heart to feel sad for a shaken friendship,
doesn it mean worse- where is tt love that is supposed to bind christians together? where is it, where is it? That gentle, patient, non-jealous, steadfast, unfailing, self sacrificing love?

i find it too difficult to reconcile the reality that loving our neighbours and loving God are 2 seperate entities. How can one say he loves God if He doesn love His neihbours?
it sears my heart deep to see and to hear of such.
But it hurts most when i discover myself, guilty of it.

i guess, yes, we are imperfect.
but "our inability to lead a perfect life does not condemn us to lead a bad one...the point of the race is not to win, but to finish it." -thomas haleIm grateful for a 2nd chance in Christ.

tough...to love like He did. but we gotta keep trying dun we...
taking one step at a time, each day on its own... with determination
we'd reach there soon enough.