Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Monday, November 28, 2005
and soon we will see sunshine after the rain
the past 72 hours have been the most eventful, stressful and painful times in my 2 month period in Glasgow. i was brought on an emotional, mental and spiritual ride that changed my life.
if you knew the full account of the story, you would agree its complexed and messy, you would also see the depth of the struggle all of us had to go through, but for now, bear with me and keep your judgements to yourself, as i try to paint you the brighter side of the story, because i want people to know, God is amazing.
Glasgow Chinese Christian Church invited Graham and Su and another Godly couple to conduct a series of workshops for us this weekend. i think they are from australia, yes they are. and they've been travelling lots to singapore, malaysia and the UK to serve the Lord. kinda missionaries i think. Graham has the gift of prophecy, and he prophecised to a couple of people at our retreat last year. having heard so much about him, i decided to make an appointment to see them too-yesterday evening. i realise, i was searching and seekin for something deeper, thats why i made this decision. i mean, prophecy can be quite daunting, no one would wanna get themselves in it "just for fun"?
yup, so many more events had took place before sunday afternoon, but my session with graham and friends was what marked the turning pount in my life, so id like to share it with you. i was so drained mentally and emotionally after friday and saturday, and the little things that happened throughout the week.I didnt know what to expect from the prayer session, in fact i was apprehensive and disappointed by the way things had turned out. i truly am.
Graham prayed with and for me, and asked God to give him the wisdom to speak into my life. And i believe God did.
with all i rememeber, and my very best in re-iterating:
"You have set your foot into areas where God was so real and good,prayer, worship. You have seen and tasted and know its goodness, but only for a little while, you step out and move into something else. You are like a child in a sea, seeking for God, but sometimes you stray and move into something else which u want to explore though you know it isnt the correct path. But its okay, because God allowed it. But now is the time, when God wants to pour out His fullness into your life. He wants to bring you into a place where You will be abe to experience Him to the fullest, and You will run after Him... i believe, its the Holy Spirit God wants to give."
It is true.
I had been running toward God, seeking for somethng deeper in my relationship with Him. I have had glimpses of my future serving Him, especially missions. But somehow, i chose to be distracted by other things, ive strayed from my first love. and it hurt me, because they was always this sadness in my heart i couldnt quite explain. But God is so forgiving, He allowed the wall in my heart to be broken down, he led me to the place of utter brokenness before Him, so i can find release. and gain even so much more than what i had expected.
in less than 5min, i found myself praying to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit.
this was the 3rd invitation i had received by 3 random, non related people in 2 days. yes, it is scary. i was afraid because it seem all so daunting. speaking in tongues? water, wind, fire? all words that were associated with it were so strong, too strong for my gentle spirit, so i thought. But this was what i wanted. i knew it. for how long, ive been wanted to be filled with that sort of power and confidence from on high, to be convicted with the depth of Jesus's love for me, not just knwoing the bible, not just knowing it all in my heart, but be so touched and empowered with that Love. i was really afriad, but i decided to give myself a chance, i guess it involved trusting God to magnify that little bit of desire in me, despite the immense fear.
and yes,it all happened.
i choose to believe the Holy Spirit worked in me in a gentle way. yes, my voice toward heaven was opened and i truly thank God for it. but more so, it was a change that took place deep in my soul. it's not just a feeling. its more than that. its a new kind of trust and rejuvenation.ive received this gift, because God is gracious. the evidence was there, i cant wait for so much more to be unleashed in the rest of the days.
"God will bring you to a place of teaching. You will teach and people will come to you. He will empower you to minister to them through His word, and you will minister to them and encourage them as you speak truth into their lives."- this is something which i do not see now, but i will hold on so dearly too. i know there are so many cell group leaders keeping me accountable. someday, when we look back, i hope to say that God is a faithful God who keeps His promises. oh, and the one word that kept appearing in my head was missions.
there is no turning back for me now, i have crossed over to the other side (Mark 4:35, another divine "coincidence" which i will share with you if u ask me). all i want to do now is run toward jesus, my first love. There is so much more He will show me! Im excited!
really, it was so difficult and painful to reach the decision of 1)letting go 2)choosing "no choice" as a choice
But i know this is what i should do, and it is something which i want to as well. God's will is so clear for us at this point in time. and im glad that we all have the maturity and obedience to accept it. im blessed to have graham and su come into our lives at this point in time, and 6 cell group couples praying over all of us, keeping us accountable. I dare say, this fellowship we share in glasgow is so authentic, and i believe it will touch people in a deeper way. He;s really so good.How can i not love a God like that? How can i not choose Him above all and run toward Him... its impossible.
"we do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you...."-2 chronicles 20:12b.
we do not know what the future holds, but we know God is with us, He is for us. Who can be against us? He will show all of us the best for us, and i know we will be special people serving Him mightily in the days to come. that thought itself makes me smile. It wouldn be easy, but neither will it be too difficult. His grace is sufficient for us!
so refreshing, so good. come like the rushing wind and fill us from within.
thank You God.
if you knew the full account of the story, you would agree its complexed and messy, you would also see the depth of the struggle all of us had to go through, but for now, bear with me and keep your judgements to yourself, as i try to paint you the brighter side of the story, because i want people to know, God is amazing.
Glasgow Chinese Christian Church invited Graham and Su and another Godly couple to conduct a series of workshops for us this weekend. i think they are from australia, yes they are. and they've been travelling lots to singapore, malaysia and the UK to serve the Lord. kinda missionaries i think. Graham has the gift of prophecy, and he prophecised to a couple of people at our retreat last year. having heard so much about him, i decided to make an appointment to see them too-yesterday evening. i realise, i was searching and seekin for something deeper, thats why i made this decision. i mean, prophecy can be quite daunting, no one would wanna get themselves in it "just for fun"?
yup, so many more events had took place before sunday afternoon, but my session with graham and friends was what marked the turning pount in my life, so id like to share it with you. i was so drained mentally and emotionally after friday and saturday, and the little things that happened throughout the week.I didnt know what to expect from the prayer session, in fact i was apprehensive and disappointed by the way things had turned out. i truly am.
Graham prayed with and for me, and asked God to give him the wisdom to speak into my life. And i believe God did.
with all i rememeber, and my very best in re-iterating:
"You have set your foot into areas where God was so real and good,prayer, worship. You have seen and tasted and know its goodness, but only for a little while, you step out and move into something else. You are like a child in a sea, seeking for God, but sometimes you stray and move into something else which u want to explore though you know it isnt the correct path. But its okay, because God allowed it. But now is the time, when God wants to pour out His fullness into your life. He wants to bring you into a place where You will be abe to experience Him to the fullest, and You will run after Him... i believe, its the Holy Spirit God wants to give."
It is true.
I had been running toward God, seeking for somethng deeper in my relationship with Him. I have had glimpses of my future serving Him, especially missions. But somehow, i chose to be distracted by other things, ive strayed from my first love. and it hurt me, because they was always this sadness in my heart i couldnt quite explain. But God is so forgiving, He allowed the wall in my heart to be broken down, he led me to the place of utter brokenness before Him, so i can find release. and gain even so much more than what i had expected.
in less than 5min, i found myself praying to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit.
this was the 3rd invitation i had received by 3 random, non related people in 2 days. yes, it is scary. i was afraid because it seem all so daunting. speaking in tongues? water, wind, fire? all words that were associated with it were so strong, too strong for my gentle spirit, so i thought. But this was what i wanted. i knew it. for how long, ive been wanted to be filled with that sort of power and confidence from on high, to be convicted with the depth of Jesus's love for me, not just knwoing the bible, not just knowing it all in my heart, but be so touched and empowered with that Love. i was really afriad, but i decided to give myself a chance, i guess it involved trusting God to magnify that little bit of desire in me, despite the immense fear.
and yes,it all happened.
i choose to believe the Holy Spirit worked in me in a gentle way. yes, my voice toward heaven was opened and i truly thank God for it. but more so, it was a change that took place deep in my soul. it's not just a feeling. its more than that. its a new kind of trust and rejuvenation.ive received this gift, because God is gracious. the evidence was there, i cant wait for so much more to be unleashed in the rest of the days.
"God will bring you to a place of teaching. You will teach and people will come to you. He will empower you to minister to them through His word, and you will minister to them and encourage them as you speak truth into their lives."- this is something which i do not see now, but i will hold on so dearly too. i know there are so many cell group leaders keeping me accountable. someday, when we look back, i hope to say that God is a faithful God who keeps His promises. oh, and the one word that kept appearing in my head was missions.
there is no turning back for me now, i have crossed over to the other side (Mark 4:35, another divine "coincidence" which i will share with you if u ask me). all i want to do now is run toward jesus, my first love. There is so much more He will show me! Im excited!
really, it was so difficult and painful to reach the decision of 1)letting go 2)choosing "no choice" as a choice
But i know this is what i should do, and it is something which i want to as well. God's will is so clear for us at this point in time. and im glad that we all have the maturity and obedience to accept it. im blessed to have graham and su come into our lives at this point in time, and 6 cell group couples praying over all of us, keeping us accountable. I dare say, this fellowship we share in glasgow is so authentic, and i believe it will touch people in a deeper way. He;s really so good.How can i not love a God like that? How can i not choose Him above all and run toward Him... its impossible.
"we do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you...."-2 chronicles 20:12b.
we do not know what the future holds, but we know God is with us, He is for us. Who can be against us? He will show all of us the best for us, and i know we will be special people serving Him mightily in the days to come. that thought itself makes me smile. It wouldn be easy, but neither will it be too difficult. His grace is sufficient for us!
so refreshing, so good. come like the rushing wind and fill us from within.
thank You God.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Friday, November 25, 2005
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
It's been so long since i last blogged, been so so busy-church camp, loads of effort into anatomy, dinners, cooking good food, staying in the SL... really eventful week that just passed.
Where should i start from?
last wednesday, I did major chinese supermarket shopping! bought a big wok, metal bowls and plates, containers, tang yuan, custard pao, prawns, corn flour and all the other essential things one needs for chinese cooking. went back, whopped up a fantastic mean for ommena and family, ambika, and others=)i made my own "shui jiao"!-minced pork, water chestnut and prawns and marinates, chicken noodles, and tempura prawns!!! was so proud of myself cause it was a really good meal! haha ambika gave me an A!but such cooking can only be done once a month? haha. i spent 3 hours preparing-way too much time. But it was fun, i really enjoy cooking, especially cooking for people. i like to make people happy through food=)
next exciting thing! and probably the most exciting of all.. CHURCH CAMP!
venue: Gartmore, 1 hour drive out of glasgow, country side
duration: Friday to sunday afternoon
Theme: Grace
weather: sub zero
scenary: drop dead gorgeous.
this was my first church camp overseas and i enjoyed myself so much. Its different from what ive experienced back home. well, other than the setting and people (which actually does make a lot of difference to the environment), i felt that the way the workshops and worship sessions were carried out were very novel too. we had video cum music worship, which was quite impactful. i especially like the way we did our "prayer walk". jenny (pastor's wife), is the head of this "deeper ministry", and she set up a labirynth for us. candles and glass pebbles under soft, dim lights marked the pathways for our walk. i rememeber clearly the stop where we had to look at our reflection in the mirror: "what do u see? a lost child, a burdened heart..." stuff like that? was really meaningful.
oh! and we had worship in the woods! on sat morning kenneth and weiyao led us to the woods around gartmore house. i felt like a kid in enid blyton enjoying the beautiful sights, and taking in all u can-the wind, the sounds from the river, the birds, everything quiet and beautiful....Thank God for the camp,a nd allwoing me to find him amongst nature. Thank God for creating this world so beautiful.
basically, camp was good. spiritually, i found release. And not to forget, a bunch of really good sisters-alithea and carol. my dearest cell group leader and big sis. They gave me lots of support and encouragement when i was down, and im really blessed to have them. even the rest of the older brothers and sisters-kenneth, ling, shaun, sue cha cha, may, yinru, vong, alf, weiyao... its so nice being around these people. cause they are really genuine and sincere? and mature as well? maybe its just an overseas glasweigian syndrome.
one thing i will never forget also is..
being chased by a bull dog.
im serious. its one of the most exciting-in terms of adrenaline levels to the max.
but one of the most traumatic expereinces too.
we were trying to get into the main house to view gartmore from high. main door was locked.so we went from the side, climbed over the curb, walked 5 steps, saw dog head and heard his bark-turn and run.reflex action.
so so scary. i had no time to think, just run for my life... still is so scary everytime i think of it...
thanks weiyao for letting me run first.
thank God the bull dog couldn jump high.
i will seriously think twice before trespassing again. haha
-things we do when we are young-
as for school, anatomy is my life now. dissection, prossection, PBL, john shaw donne. thaTs what i do everyday. just finished thoracic cavity dissection today. i feel like a butcher. sawing the rib cage open, digging out the lungs, grrr. it requires lotsa strength! and my latex glove tore, causing my hads to be smeared with formalin, embalming fluid and dried blood and fats and whatever we have in there. and the smell is sooooo bad. i can still smell it on my fingers. *puke puke*
but even after all this, i think anatomy is quite interesting. difficult for me though. i prefer physiology. maybe im not a surgeon material. but then again, i like obs and gyn. aye, too early to decide on anything, i haven been exposed to half of the fields!
okae, lotsa things to do-pbl, coursework, revision for anatomy formative assesement, dinners, decisions, packing and shopping for people back home-2.5 weeks more! grrr. i think i will miss glasgow. really.
Where should i start from?
last wednesday, I did major chinese supermarket shopping! bought a big wok, metal bowls and plates, containers, tang yuan, custard pao, prawns, corn flour and all the other essential things one needs for chinese cooking. went back, whopped up a fantastic mean for ommena and family, ambika, and others=)i made my own "shui jiao"!-minced pork, water chestnut and prawns and marinates, chicken noodles, and tempura prawns!!! was so proud of myself cause it was a really good meal! haha ambika gave me an A!but such cooking can only be done once a month? haha. i spent 3 hours preparing-way too much time. But it was fun, i really enjoy cooking, especially cooking for people. i like to make people happy through food=)
next exciting thing! and probably the most exciting of all.. CHURCH CAMP!
venue: Gartmore, 1 hour drive out of glasgow, country side
duration: Friday to sunday afternoon
Theme: Grace
weather: sub zero
scenary: drop dead gorgeous.
this was my first church camp overseas and i enjoyed myself so much. Its different from what ive experienced back home. well, other than the setting and people (which actually does make a lot of difference to the environment), i felt that the way the workshops and worship sessions were carried out were very novel too. we had video cum music worship, which was quite impactful. i especially like the way we did our "prayer walk". jenny (pastor's wife), is the head of this "deeper ministry", and she set up a labirynth for us. candles and glass pebbles under soft, dim lights marked the pathways for our walk. i rememeber clearly the stop where we had to look at our reflection in the mirror: "what do u see? a lost child, a burdened heart..." stuff like that? was really meaningful.
oh! and we had worship in the woods! on sat morning kenneth and weiyao led us to the woods around gartmore house. i felt like a kid in enid blyton enjoying the beautiful sights, and taking in all u can-the wind, the sounds from the river, the birds, everything quiet and beautiful....Thank God for the camp,a nd allwoing me to find him amongst nature. Thank God for creating this world so beautiful.
basically, camp was good. spiritually, i found release. And not to forget, a bunch of really good sisters-alithea and carol. my dearest cell group leader and big sis. They gave me lots of support and encouragement when i was down, and im really blessed to have them. even the rest of the older brothers and sisters-kenneth, ling, shaun, sue cha cha, may, yinru, vong, alf, weiyao... its so nice being around these people. cause they are really genuine and sincere? and mature as well? maybe its just an overseas glasweigian syndrome.
one thing i will never forget also is..
being chased by a bull dog.
im serious. its one of the most exciting-in terms of adrenaline levels to the max.
but one of the most traumatic expereinces too.
we were trying to get into the main house to view gartmore from high. main door was locked.so we went from the side, climbed over the curb, walked 5 steps, saw dog head and heard his bark-turn and run.reflex action.
so so scary. i had no time to think, just run for my life... still is so scary everytime i think of it...
thanks weiyao for letting me run first.
thank God the bull dog couldn jump high.
i will seriously think twice before trespassing again. haha
-things we do when we are young-
as for school, anatomy is my life now. dissection, prossection, PBL, john shaw donne. thaTs what i do everyday. just finished thoracic cavity dissection today. i feel like a butcher. sawing the rib cage open, digging out the lungs, grrr. it requires lotsa strength! and my latex glove tore, causing my hads to be smeared with formalin, embalming fluid and dried blood and fats and whatever we have in there. and the smell is sooooo bad. i can still smell it on my fingers. *puke puke*
but even after all this, i think anatomy is quite interesting. difficult for me though. i prefer physiology. maybe im not a surgeon material. but then again, i like obs and gyn. aye, too early to decide on anything, i haven been exposed to half of the fields!
okae, lotsa things to do-pbl, coursework, revision for anatomy formative assesement, dinners, decisions, packing and shopping for people back home-2.5 weeks more! grrr. i think i will miss glasgow. really.
Monday, November 14, 2005
True Colours
"But because of His great love for us, God who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by grace you have been saved."-ephesians 2:4-5
Only when we fail to set our minds on the things above do we forget God's love for us and that he has destined us for a future beyond anything we can imagine. Amen to that.
The one thing that i will remember from this morning's devotion: to set my mind on God and remember His love for me as i go about the daily activities in my life. Yes, courage to do the right thing is rare and difficult, but i am determined to do what is right. May God grant us self-control and obedience as we seek His will, regardless what the outcome may be. May God take this little bit of faith and multiply it a thousand fold.
Only when we fail to set our minds on the things above do we forget God's love for us and that he has destined us for a future beyond anything we can imagine. Amen to that.
The one thing that i will remember from this morning's devotion: to set my mind on God and remember His love for me as i go about the daily activities in my life. Yes, courage to do the right thing is rare and difficult, but i am determined to do what is right. May God grant us self-control and obedience as we seek His will, regardless what the outcome may be. May God take this little bit of faith and multiply it a thousand fold.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
JOY
Let Your spirit come
Let Your will be done
Let Your presence fall on me
Christ You set me free
You are my liberty
Let Your presence fall on me
Let the power of the Holy Ghost fall in this place
Come and change my heart, renew me
with Your mercy and Your grace
Let the love of Christ surround me
come closer to my side
my newest favourite song-"Everythings gonna be alright" by Vicki Winans.
I had a really good end of block 1 break. Finally, a time to breathe, a time to be by myself and let God speak to me. how gently He's spirit moved and touched me. I melted.
it's been 2 months now, and 30 more days to being home again.
Life has been eventful and enriching. Ive been doing things i wouldnt have been able to do if i was in singapore studying. Ive had wonderful experiences with people, Ive learnt to get along with a wider variety of personalities. Ive had my share fair of fun, and more to come i believe. But, it has not been smooth. There have been times of trials and difficulties, that really demanded so much from me- mentally, emotionally, physically.
do not be deceived by what you read here, or rather, i chose not to write so much because a huge audience reads this now. hah. but all for God's glory, now.
weiyao and i were talking about God and our walks on monday, and i said i felt empty."is it a God-shaped vacuum?". truly it is... there have been so many nights that ive laid in bed yearning for God to fill that empty space. Ive tried means and ways, subconscously, to fill this space with activities at church, with work even, with food, with friends. But i know, i know, that none can satisfy me but God. my God. my saviour, my provider, my Dad and King.
at cell group last friday i was asked "what do you want in life?". my reply:"I want to be.. where God wants me to be..."sam aaron went on about how he was impressed by a 19 year old. But i searched deeper and tried "dissecting" myself. why did i say that? i guess, such an answer can only come from a soul that has been broken and hurt, and wants something more than things of this earth. or maybe, it really is God-shaped.
the difficulty is in resolving my needs and desires between this vacuum. and i think it will be a permanent struggle. we all atruggle right? if u get what i mean.
whatever, after the amazing weekend, i managed to settle my thoughts and get my life back in a proper, more God-honouring state. i dunno how despite the business. But i must say God has been good. Only His grace and mercy can change my heart and bring it back to look upon Him. there need not be anything happening, but just a quiet, gentle, soothing spirit that moves me. In the quiet, in the hectic times, in confusion, in a foreign land, God moves, His spirit moves.
I just want to say that, i have been far away from Him. my walk has been like a sine wave. ive expereinced His goodness, a "high" even, but yet there have been times when i CHOOSE to stray. to place Him below my own needs and wants. though i havent done anything bad bad. sinful, there will always be this void for Him to fill. Life is incomplete without Him. Yet despite me choosing time over time to stray, to be intraspective, just a simple, 1% cry out to Him, He gave me 100% fufilment.He reached out from afar to bind me with His love. to tell me that He really loves me.
and loving me means He will always have the best for me. That He will provide for me. That He will take good care of me. I may not always be happy and bouncy but I will be complete. isnt that enough?
indeed "joy is not the abscence of pain in our lives, but it is having the presence of God."
maybe if you were tired and disappointed some day, try giving God a shout. even if you dun feel like it, or doubt it would work, give it a try. a little try. and Im sure our greater God will take it from there and return to us with even more than we can imagine. its like, giving Him a chance kinda? i know what ive been saying may not be theologically right.. but i do know that, and all who have "given Him a chance" will understand, that Faith is worth more than a fighting chance. at the end, its more like giving ourselves a chance, to be with the ONLY one who can love us perfectly.
and love yearns to be shared. i hope all who read this will know that love exists, and yes to my mum and dad i miss u and love you very much. and my cousins, grandparents, gugu, guzhang, and dearest friends at home-ure on my mind.take care.
Let Your will be done
Let Your presence fall on me
Christ You set me free
You are my liberty
Let Your presence fall on me
Let the power of the Holy Ghost fall in this place
Come and change my heart, renew me
with Your mercy and Your grace
Let the love of Christ surround me
come closer to my side
my newest favourite song-"Everythings gonna be alright" by Vicki Winans.
I had a really good end of block 1 break. Finally, a time to breathe, a time to be by myself and let God speak to me. how gently He's spirit moved and touched me. I melted.
it's been 2 months now, and 30 more days to being home again.
Life has been eventful and enriching. Ive been doing things i wouldnt have been able to do if i was in singapore studying. Ive had wonderful experiences with people, Ive learnt to get along with a wider variety of personalities. Ive had my share fair of fun, and more to come i believe. But, it has not been smooth. There have been times of trials and difficulties, that really demanded so much from me- mentally, emotionally, physically.
do not be deceived by what you read here, or rather, i chose not to write so much because a huge audience reads this now. hah. but all for God's glory, now.
weiyao and i were talking about God and our walks on monday, and i said i felt empty."is it a God-shaped vacuum?". truly it is... there have been so many nights that ive laid in bed yearning for God to fill that empty space. Ive tried means and ways, subconscously, to fill this space with activities at church, with work even, with food, with friends. But i know, i know, that none can satisfy me but God. my God. my saviour, my provider, my Dad and King.
at cell group last friday i was asked "what do you want in life?". my reply:"I want to be.. where God wants me to be..."sam aaron went on about how he was impressed by a 19 year old. But i searched deeper and tried "dissecting" myself. why did i say that? i guess, such an answer can only come from a soul that has been broken and hurt, and wants something more than things of this earth. or maybe, it really is God-shaped.
the difficulty is in resolving my needs and desires between this vacuum. and i think it will be a permanent struggle. we all atruggle right? if u get what i mean.
whatever, after the amazing weekend, i managed to settle my thoughts and get my life back in a proper, more God-honouring state. i dunno how despite the business. But i must say God has been good. Only His grace and mercy can change my heart and bring it back to look upon Him. there need not be anything happening, but just a quiet, gentle, soothing spirit that moves me. In the quiet, in the hectic times, in confusion, in a foreign land, God moves, His spirit moves.
I just want to say that, i have been far away from Him. my walk has been like a sine wave. ive expereinced His goodness, a "high" even, but yet there have been times when i CHOOSE to stray. to place Him below my own needs and wants. though i havent done anything bad bad. sinful, there will always be this void for Him to fill. Life is incomplete without Him. Yet despite me choosing time over time to stray, to be intraspective, just a simple, 1% cry out to Him, He gave me 100% fufilment.He reached out from afar to bind me with His love. to tell me that He really loves me.
and loving me means He will always have the best for me. That He will provide for me. That He will take good care of me. I may not always be happy and bouncy but I will be complete. isnt that enough?
indeed "joy is not the abscence of pain in our lives, but it is having the presence of God."
maybe if you were tired and disappointed some day, try giving God a shout. even if you dun feel like it, or doubt it would work, give it a try. a little try. and Im sure our greater God will take it from there and return to us with even more than we can imagine. its like, giving Him a chance kinda? i know what ive been saying may not be theologically right.. but i do know that, and all who have "given Him a chance" will understand, that Faith is worth more than a fighting chance. at the end, its more like giving ourselves a chance, to be with the ONLY one who can love us perfectly.
and love yearns to be shared. i hope all who read this will know that love exists, and yes to my mum and dad i miss u and love you very much. and my cousins, grandparents, gugu, guzhang, and dearest friends at home-ure on my mind.take care.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Colours of Fall
Now, for real..
It's been a long time since i blogged properly. been busy, with work-its the end of block rush coursework to be done, PBLs to complete etc. But im coping well. got yesterday and tpday off, so i managed to finish a big part of coursework. PBL9 is small.. and quite rubbish if u want an honest opinion, so it should be fine.
Thank you Josh and Dominic for helping me with online journals and stuff yesterday! josh-i only need to know F8 mutations and possibly a wee bit of vWF i realised. Nat Rev was too deep!
dom-the catholic hierarchy was too complicated. i stuck with singapore education's system. boring.. but i knew it best cause of my daddy!*cheers dad!*
Thanks anyway guys, grateful for all ur help.
thank you to my *teddy bear* for always being so sweet and endearing.listening to me and offering "advice" haha.
im sick. had a fever 2 days ago. recurring cough and stuffy nose. my GP said "im sorry we cant do anything to help you, all you can take is paracetamol". wait before u make any judgements...i must be fair to her. maybe she was right. cause at that point in time, i didnt show any sever symptoms of flu. diagnosed as cold. which is right, paracetamol is the best solution. -phelgm fever only came after i saw her.-
But, i did feel, she could have done better with patient interactions.. just jumped straight into examination! thats not what we were taught to do!
k, let me not be quick to criticise.must learn and reflect,i sure wanna do better in future. want my patients satisfied, trusting me, and on the road to recovery! (not always possible i realised).when's my first GP/ward visit? 2 weeks time i think. excited!!!
anyway, do not worry about me. aaron sam and alithia are coming over to see me tonight, so sweet. aaron's gonna give me some strong lozenges and nasal spray and if needed prescribe some antibiotics.not bird flu! or meningitis (outbreak here).no worries.MY cell group leader-im in good hands! oh and alithia's 13 weeks pregnant.. we're all so excited.. new baby in the group!
past weekend has been fun just hanging out with Jean and Gordon on saturday, and having dimsum on sunday with 10 other people. I dunno if Jean and Gordon will read this soon, but im really blessed to have you guys as friends and cell group mates. Thsnk you for being honest with me, for caring so much to help me, to listen, to support me in my time of need. I really love you guys, and your company! esp to jean:i dunno how i can further xpress my gratitude, words ain enough, but i hope to show it through action someday!
yup, in times of need, 4 people have been standing by me. ommena, ambika, jean and Big G. Jean and Gordon esp-encouraging me from the word of God, helping me to see certain things clearly, telling me"this is how God speaks!"haha. they are a cool bunch. and yeah.. honestly, my walk could be better than what it is now. and i think i gotta be the one making the first move. God has been gracious to speak to me directly through sermons and people. and more powerfully, the Holy Spirit. its all up to me now to improve my walk. to draw closer to Him.
and you know, the kind of struggle when im so luke warm. (uhoh.. ) and u dun even feel like being enthusiastic. aye..ill sort it out in time to come.
the days are getting shorter. i am now 8 hours behind singapore. it gets dark at 5.*sobs*
-back to haemophilia A-
It's been a long time since i blogged properly. been busy, with work-its the end of block rush coursework to be done, PBLs to complete etc. But im coping well. got yesterday and tpday off, so i managed to finish a big part of coursework. PBL9 is small.. and quite rubbish if u want an honest opinion, so it should be fine.
Thank you Josh and Dominic for helping me with online journals and stuff yesterday! josh-i only need to know F8 mutations and possibly a wee bit of vWF i realised. Nat Rev was too deep!
dom-the catholic hierarchy was too complicated. i stuck with singapore education's system. boring.. but i knew it best cause of my daddy!*cheers dad!*
Thanks anyway guys, grateful for all ur help.
thank you to my *teddy bear* for always being so sweet and endearing.listening to me and offering "advice" haha.
im sick. had a fever 2 days ago. recurring cough and stuffy nose. my GP said "im sorry we cant do anything to help you, all you can take is paracetamol". wait before u make any judgements...i must be fair to her. maybe she was right. cause at that point in time, i didnt show any sever symptoms of flu. diagnosed as cold. which is right, paracetamol is the best solution. -phelgm fever only came after i saw her.-
But, i did feel, she could have done better with patient interactions.. just jumped straight into examination! thats not what we were taught to do!
k, let me not be quick to criticise.must learn and reflect,i sure wanna do better in future. want my patients satisfied, trusting me, and on the road to recovery! (not always possible i realised).when's my first GP/ward visit? 2 weeks time i think. excited!!!
anyway, do not worry about me. aaron sam and alithia are coming over to see me tonight, so sweet. aaron's gonna give me some strong lozenges and nasal spray and if needed prescribe some antibiotics.not bird flu! or meningitis (outbreak here).no worries.MY cell group leader-im in good hands! oh and alithia's 13 weeks pregnant.. we're all so excited.. new baby in the group!
past weekend has been fun just hanging out with Jean and Gordon on saturday, and having dimsum on sunday with 10 other people. I dunno if Jean and Gordon will read this soon, but im really blessed to have you guys as friends and cell group mates. Thsnk you for being honest with me, for caring so much to help me, to listen, to support me in my time of need. I really love you guys, and your company! esp to jean:i dunno how i can further xpress my gratitude, words ain enough, but i hope to show it through action someday!
yup, in times of need, 4 people have been standing by me. ommena, ambika, jean and Big G. Jean and Gordon esp-encouraging me from the word of God, helping me to see certain things clearly, telling me"this is how God speaks!"haha. they are a cool bunch. and yeah.. honestly, my walk could be better than what it is now. and i think i gotta be the one making the first move. God has been gracious to speak to me directly through sermons and people. and more powerfully, the Holy Spirit. its all up to me now to improve my walk. to draw closer to Him.
and you know, the kind of struggle when im so luke warm. (uhoh.. ) and u dun even feel like being enthusiastic. aye..ill sort it out in time to come.
the days are getting shorter. i am now 8 hours behind singapore. it gets dark at 5.*sobs*
-back to haemophilia A-
off!
happy deepavali, Happy Hari Raya!
after ommena's and ambika's nice deepavali mean at Ashoka, Ambika popped by my room at 1030pm and decided she was off, and she was in the mood for crazy photo-taking sessions. right. and i decided to be crappy and play along. so this is our collection of mad photos.
disclaimer: at no point in time it was and will ever be, fulfilled in reality. esp. the closet mugger and superwoman bit.
its purely just for laffs. haha. no im not stressed or overworked. just being playful!enjoy!
after ommena's and ambika's nice deepavali mean at Ashoka, Ambika popped by my room at 1030pm and decided she was off, and she was in the mood for crazy photo-taking sessions. right. and i decided to be crappy and play along. so this is our collection of mad photos.
disclaimer: at no point in time it was and will ever be, fulfilled in reality. esp. the closet mugger and superwoman bit.
its purely just for laffs. haha. no im not stressed or overworked. just being playful!enjoy!
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