God is BIG BIG BIGGER than Life!

Now my heart's desire is to know You more
To be found in You and know as Yours
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All surpassing gift of righteousness

Oh to know the power of Your risen life
And to know You in Your sufferings
To become like You in Your death, my Lord
So with You to live and never die.


it's a struggle. esp when you are on the frontlines fighting the battle.. but no one ever said it was gonna be easy, right? being slapped and slammed front, back, left right, upside down! seriously.. this is suffering.
but never will it be greater than what Jesus went through for us. And im glad we have that comfort and that life, new life, in Him.
Its jsut a matter of receiving it by faith... soon soon, ill get there.

Im truly thankful for wonderful brothers and sisters You have sent to me to get through this ordeal.
Jean-for your advice that always brings me back to the Lord, and not on earthly wisdom (tt seriously screws up my mind)..for reminding me to forgive.. for being steadfast. always there.
and for being fair:)
Dilane and Nora- Im so glad we can have each other in this suffering, to pray and carry each other's burdens. With us praying for each other, we know that we can face the battle stronger at any one time... special friends!
michelle and phuiyee- i *heart* you for your trust in me. after ur exams we must catch up more okay! single sisterhood rawks!
princess- i know ure reading this! and its been a week since we spoke. but im remembering you. really miss you, its been 1 year! but thank you for being the one who will stay up all night with me. Smile hun :)

and for space monkeys *ERM*
haha mum and dad too!

not me, not why, but what can i learn? how can i do better for God and those He loves deeply...

monday's dinner or smth.. i cant remember. "bah chor mee" - ill always remember the things tt are associated with it..
happy 21st my dearest darling. You're so beautiful inside and outside. You should really know that. We are praying real hard for ya! hang in there! *hugz*

I am Yours and You are mine

It's not "why me? why this? how can you be so cruel?", but rather
"Who are you God?"
"What are you trying to teach me?"

I need to learn forgiveness, I need to choose each new day- Him.
I need to let my maker fill me.

There are so many things in this world I dont understand and i struggle to figure out.
there are a lot of people i care for, a lot of things i am passionate about. sometimes, these become stresses in themselves.
But i gotta remind myself, patience.
maybe not today, not tomorrow... but definately, someday...
Its not in my hands nor my capacity, to dictate the fate of events. If it were, id probably ruin people's lives. thats how uncapable I am, compared to the hands of God.

It is however, within my means to persevere in prayer.

Its God, I trust. In Him, i shall place my hope for tomorrow, and hope for this generation.
This LOVE, is all i need to cling onto for all my life.
My deepest desires, and needs are found in him. The person I am made to be is found in Him. I am complete...
The Lord is the answer to life.. to our world.

In the chaos, in the confusion, You are Sovereign still

HOPE

Sisters
Our deliverance will Come
someday, someday.

Lord, help me to delight in you...

pray upon many stars

"God is in everything, even in a kiss"- female lead in "Count of Monte Cristo"

dont get me wrong, Im not kissing anyone!
its just that, ever since I heard this quote.. Ive been intrigued. (thanks to mei mei who decided to turn on the TV at 1am)
God really is in EVERYTHING. in the smallest things, in the big things, everywhere! in our lives, all the time. and isnt that amazing? Cause we can call upon Him anytime, and he's there. He knows ALL, even better than we know ourselves, or of any situation. Most importantly, God loves us so much He wants to give us the best.

How marvellous it is, when He knows our hearts desires and is ready to grant them to us, when we place Him First. when we honour His name and delight in His commandments. of course then, His desires become our desires too, cause you're tt close.

the days are getting better and better, cause im finally learning to live as if He were living with me. like, you imagine Him being your other unseen flatmate. being in everything. more than that, he's LIVING in my heart... alive and burning...
there has been no greater joy than dwelling in his presence, trusting in His ways, and seeing Him answer my prayers. one by one..
and going out to serve him.

suddenly, even the smallest things seem so beautiful. the laughter on the kids face-getting up on a sat morning to teach them some action songs isnt a chore anymore. supermarket shopping alone is therapeutic..talking to strangers on the streets and knowing that their lives will be changed forever.. studying at home alone.. cooking for friends.drawing blood from patients and failing the first 3 times *bleahz* sleeping, waking. singing, everything.
its not lonely at all, its beautiful.
its not quiet at all, its a song of joy that resounds..24hours round the clock.

Hope. Hope.
it taught me to love more deeply and truly,
it changed me.

Sunday- "Lord help US to find our way through the changes in Our lives."- thank you May for your notes :)
I cooked a healthy dinner! inspired by alithea's mum- celery and mince pork stir-fry, i added my fav iceberg lettuce and red peppers! nice nice but i think i undercooked the celery and added a wee bit too much oil. -sarah doesnt like oil-
saturday- Sing spoon pot luck. i forgot to take a photo before, but here's the left overs. haha. I made mee goreng with grandma's special sambal chilli:) and my secret recipe *tsk tsk*

Friday evening- havent been to supermarket shopping yet (only went on sat, thanks raymond for taking me!).. so i basically had to live on dried stuff i already had. spinach noodles and LKM chilli.
so poor thing ... :(

"BURP", oops!

A week ago, the sun was out and Glasgow was nice and warm. Unfortunately, the weather has reverted back to the normal grey and cold. its supposed to be spring argh! Anyway, we were walking home when we decided to take photos outside the Kelvingrove Art Gallery. the tulips they planted were so pretty!!

Honouring our Parents

By the "twist of fate", this topic has been appearing and reappearing in my life.
Hey, I dont mention it in a scornful or bitter manner,
But it happens that ive been seeing and listening to the difficulties some of my friends go through.
The lengths they will go to keep to this principle- even if it means sacrificing something that costs them so so much. it hurts, a lot.

But they still do it.
Perhaps, in this modern day and age, youd think they are hen-pecked and over submissive and whatever... "we've got the freedom to choose man".. (most of us are blessed with very pampering backgrounds) uhuh, i dont disagree with this right...

But neither do i think, we should take our parents lightly and turn against the hands that raised us. I believe that as students and esp those who are still receiving their support, it is our responsibility to not neglect any disagreements they have about our lives.

Fair enough, some expectations are "unfair", some seem ridiculous. too imposing, too inhumane.
but i believe every parent loves his child. i dont know how much, i honestly dont, but i think ill find out in future. I believe every concern raised stems from pure love and care..i honestly, believe they want the best for us, and want us to be happy.

Maybe, its a matter of communication- of speaking to our parents in the love language they understand (it may not necessarily be the best we are at!), its matter about compromising on both sides, its about talking, serving, and breaking ice.. respect.

The Lord said,"Honour Your parents.."
He didnt mean it for peanuts.
sometimes, its hard, and we dont see any meaning behind anything...
it may seem stupid to you if youve never struggled.

But i know now, what it truly means to be unselfish and principled.
To respect the choices of our parents and not demand an instant obligatory "yes" to whatever we want in life.
Its about waiting on the Lord, waiting on them. its about wanting them to be happy as well
its assuring them that we are old enough to take care of ourselves... we may be kids in many ways...still. but we gotta grow up. we are safe. and no matter where we go in live, we'd never disown you, nor love you less. you hafta trust us.
If one day we ever do, may the hand of God be against us

In comparison to the friends ive been speaking with, Im a little peanut, indeed.
Perhaps, ive really been pampered a lot by my parents.
Im glad They are quite easy going in that sense..
But i know i can do better with some of my decisions, to honour them.

the amount of time and effort, not even mentioning the $$$ spent on me coming over here is tremendous. Im sorry ive failed you many times, but mummy and daddy, It is my greatest (2nd to God) honour and priviledge to be your daughter in this life... Thank You so much for everything.....

please be happy

The sun will RISE again another day :)

We all have been so tired recently.. its term 3, exam season, everyone is mugging so hard.
poor thing. the lives of medics.. *tsk tsk* ams and i gave the yr 1s tuition today. 9 of them or smth, i cant rmb, i just rmb it being noisy cause they couldnt stop discussing among themselves- out of army boys. argh. of course there were only 1/2 exceptions who made good students. haha

family project to complete too. which i havent started on. been revising and neglecting tt dumb assignment. gotta start sometime SOON, girl!

if all goes as planned, im completing my training for my job this thurs and fri. which means i have to recover from this cold. drives me nuts- it really is bad to be sick and half awake, and have a constantly leaking nose, shivering under the covers... *bleahz*
aye, no luxuries of -non school- , home cooked food and TLC

this part of my life is called: becoming a big girl, on my own

Carry me O Lord
My strength is exhausted

How to save a life

sarah is studying in the SL on a Friday night.
and on saturday
and on sunday
BOO

and She eats 2 red gala apples a day.

and she is into STARs

At 7pm, I found myself weak and devastated.
"some of our hardest struggles are those deep desires that go unmet - when no response comes from heaven for what seems like forever."- from my bestie all the way from perth.

As i was walking to 20 Elie street for cell group this evening, i saw clouds that looked somewhat like this, only on a clearer and whiter sky. each cloud was orange and grey.
And this was what I heard, "In every circumstance, there is always darkness, yet theres always light. In pain and uncertainty, theres always joy and hope. Mourning comes at night, but the dawn brings forth new hope."
Just as in Ecclesiastes, the prophet says that there is a time for everything.
Honestly, its so much easier said than done.
especially when the night comes every day.

At least, ive tasted whats good today- action group.
The joy of being able to share the gospel with a stranger, and know that God is with us every step of the way. Its amazing, how overwhelmed i can get just knowing that God loves that person so much. More than i can even imagine, its uncontainable, overflowing, and unconditional. It's intense, passionate, FAITHFUL, and everlasting.

I pray that more people will come to EXPERIENCE this love, and be so moved by it. May it not be some knowledge they'll know in their heads but something that will truly transform their being. May more and more come to immerse themselves in the work of the Lord, and in His presence. To surrender, and be saved.

"There's no one else I can turn to, except the person of Jesus. Everything I am and live for is found in Him. If He goes, Id rather not live anymore..." - Anonymous

Back in the Land

I flew back to glasgow from singapore at the wee hours of saturday, arrived on saturday afternoon itself. The flight was quite alright, slept the most i ever did!
the weather has been alright, no heavy showers yet, occassional sunshine:) could be warmer:)
it feels the same, yet different. paradoxical. nothing has changed, the place, the people, the workload, it just seemed that i translocated from glasgow to singapore then back again. yet, my being feels different.

anyhow, life goes on, hectic. its studying all the way, and walking with my other half even more closely. quite intense, but im determined to live it out and fight it on- after all that, i want to be "right" for the sake of my other half, for myself and for those i love on this earth.

im reminded and constantly remind myself that in Christ, there is perfect love. That He who has died for me, though it cost him utmost agony- physically, emotionally, mentally..., loves me endlessly. has loved, loves, and will continue to do so. even till death do us part (well we dont part actually haha). everything that i have been looking for in life, lies in the person of Jesus. It is true, that when we turn our eyes upon Jesus, the things of this earth will grow strangely dim.

I recall the words of a good JC classmate who said, "Love is like a fountain, it regenerates. Like YOU said to me, it comes from above, a higher being and source". Indeed, it is only when we allow ourselves to be filled with the love of Christ, can we go on to serve others selflessly and steadfastly, in the name of true love.

And for your grace and love that has been poured out so abundantly in my life and through the lives of those you've sent, I am grateful and overwhelmed. Thank you.

"My soul is overhwhelmed with sorrow till the point of death, stay here and keep watch with me. .. Father, if it is possible, take this cup away from me. Yet not my will, but yours be done."
- Matthew 26:37-39

Thank you dad and mom for giving me the opportunity to come home this easter, it was a really good time of rest in the Lord. Never regretted a single second:)
I will miss you guys a lot, till June, take care and God Bless us all always:)

"OHANA- means family, means no one will ever be left alone"

Today, is Maundy Thursday.
As we gather together at services to commemorate the last supper, I Pray Lord Jesus that:
At GCCC, you'd bless the hands of those who are going to prepare the big dinner. May you be with them whatever they do, and allow them to experience the joy of serving you. I thank you for their passion and giftings, and their heart of service you and others.
Also, Lord, Be there with them. Your presence is what we seek most, and what we need to experience most.
As we are being remembered about your humility, let us not take it or granted, or treat it with this disdain, since You the Great King in all your splendor and authority made yourself NOTHING on this fallen world. But Lord, bring us a level deeper in the understanding of your love for us. Help us to see your passion, and your compassion, that even though we may never fully comprehend, we will be awed by that tip of the iceberg.
Thank You Lord, for Grace.

"Although power can force obedience,
only love can summon a response of love.
It is the only power ultimately capable of conquering the human heart"

Facing It

typical day:

10/11am- Rise & Shine!
11am-1pm- QT or settling stuff or Mugging
1pm-6pm- mugging outside somewhere
6.30-8.30pm- Dance class at studioWu
9-10pm- Dinner at home
10-3am- Mugging
3-4am- Reading phillip yancey's "The Jesus I never Knew"

uhuh, i never really adjusted back to SG timings.
bang-bang-bang, non-stop revisions, half way through block 9 now! and i better be remembering all that stuff about neuro and the heart!

about that new book im reading- it was idle on my sister's desk and caught my eye during one stormy QT session. God knows why i started reading it.. heavy stuff...
been learning a lot, questioning a lot about my relationship with this person, Jesus...well it's been going on for the whole easter. mind-boggling, yet captivating. so much i want to share..but till i get it processed.

-this space was originally full of meaningful sentences, tt gradually turned into complaints and grudges- then oops! I realise the implications...and the stupidity of it all.
i think its bed time, sarah.

"Love has its own power,
the only power ultimately capable of conquering the human heart"

Dear Lord,
it will be another 9 hours to the Guest service at GCCC.
A thought just came into my mind.
And i pray that you will bring more people to this service, people who have not heard your gospel before. And for those who have heard many times, may they come again, with a heart of willingness.
I pray that you will anoint the speaker with words that are from you, and you alone. May He speak forth truth into the lives of the people, and touch them deep inside. Let it not be just another sermon, but one that will bring conviction into hearts that are cold or even lukewarm.
I pray for the worship team and the cg that is preparing this, that Lord you help them come before you with a clean and pure heart, offering themselves to you as living sacrifices. May the songs they sing and the praises they shout come from within, and most importantly may it be pleasing to you.
Most importantly, I pray father, that your presence will go before them, that your Holy Spirit will lead the way, in fiery, passionate worship unto you. If you are there and take delight upon the fellowship, make your presence real to every single person, O God, such that every heart, wherever they may be in life, will walk out of that room, changed.
Be with them Lord, Be with us, we need You. Without you, we are nothing.

thank you father,
amen.