Our First Love

Ambika, Saleem and I were sitting in Macs on monday night, chilling out after surveying. some point in time, our conversation drifted to medicine-Lumbar punctures/LPs. the point of debate was: will you, as a medical student administer a LP on a patient in a 3rd world country, after having seen it being done a couple of times?
the proposition says: 1)to save the patients life, yes. 2)an opportunity to gain clinical experience, so why not?
the opposition replies: you will have the opportunity to gain clinical experience/training at some point in time. if you;re gonna become a neurosurgeon ud prob be trained to be very good at it. why do you need to risk the life of a patient just to be able to tell your friends "hey! ive done an LP..."its after all, for your own selfish gain. anyway, its not as if the patient will die without doing an LP.

this is subject to great discussiion, and people will hold different views as we are all free to do so. besides, situations vary- emergency deliveries are one example of a totally different call at that point in time.

But saleem's words struck me on a deeper level, left me thinking for 2 days.
looking back on several occassions... have i sought to place my own selfish gains above the welfare of a patient?
these days, I find in myself falling short of...compassion.
have all the events of the past year left an unwanted impact on me as well?
have i fallen to a level of "just feeling sorry for people" instead of "putting myself in their shoes and empathising?"
I have not gone all cold, but I dont want to be lukewarm either.
I think Christ would display more love, kindness and sensitivity to the needs of people around me-not just the sick, but the abandoned, the broken in spirit, the poor, the orphans, people who need the Lord.

and i guess in times like these, there is no other way but return to the Lord in confession, moulding and to tap on the fountain of ever flowing, perfect love.

There are many things that could break a human's heart-betrayal, abandonment, malice, seperation from a loved one, regret when its only too late, fear, a lack of courage...
what breaks God's heart? a disunited church perhaps, his lost sheep choosing to be lost forever, a corrupted world, sin, his children who reject his love, opression of the poor, broken hearts, his children suffering emotional, physical and mental torture..lukewarmness towards the gospel?
do these things break our heart too?

But even if we do or do not..
i believe it is not guilt, nor is it ignorance that God would like us to focus on.
beyond this is our response to His calling-that constant calling to each and everyone of us out there, that if we were less distracted and more quiet to the spirit's gentle voice, we would hear clearly.

That call to choose to step out of our comfort zone and move forward to complete His will for us.
and isnt His will always out of love for us? a will that never harms, never fails, only prospers..
a step of faith, a leap in the spiritual realms.