wing wing and I:)my dearest girl friend of 8 years now... classmates from sec1-4, same JC, cheerleading team and what not. UCL medicine now:)i love this girl. she is so cool-personality wise, and HOT too!
Friday, July 28, 2006
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
The New Chapter
The turning point came on Sunday.
IT had been boiling up, accumulated fears, dissatisfaction, disappointment and lost for several months now.
i never thought rise up above the aftermath of that hard-hit chapter.
But i was wrong, nothing is too difficult for God to achieve, and it is done when you believe and call out to His great and mighty name, it is done, when we proclaim in the name of jesus Christ, according to His will.
now, the responsibility lies on us, to let go of that yolk and lay it at the foot of the cross.
Jesus is always calling out to us, i believe.
as in ailing's blog she wrote:
But the spirit within us cries out, (ailing), THERE IS A GOD, I AM HERE, I LIVE WITHIN YOU.
My father cries out for me,in the midst of my flesh being weak.
My Father is a father of relationships, he cries out for me.
We need so much in our time and age to be reminded that GOD IS HERE,VERY MUCH ALIVE, VERY MUCH SOVEREIGN, VERY BIG, VERY MIGHTY, VERY ABLE...
That gave daniel the strength to stand strong and stand firm.It's not something He felt, it was something He knew and fought hard to remember.
ive learnt over this year especially, that we faith is not a feeling, and our relationship with God should never be measured against human feelings. because feelings are FAR TOO fragile. they are here today and gone tomorrow. how can a relationship with an utmost majestic and divine God be built on such a shaky foundation? it will definately crumble over time, through hardship and the vices of this world.
I would like to see my rela, with jesus as a 2 way commitment and promise, one that was made the very moment i accepted Christ as my personal Lord and saviour. He promised to be always be there for me, WITH me. and i believe i have also committed myself to always love and serve, in times of blessings and in seasons of suffering. it is difficult to walk, often, because that is the nature of the flesh-"There is NO God!" syndrome, So all the more we Need to fight hard to remember we have the spirit in us, and the spirit cries out for usand to us "The living God is IN You."
yes, i agree with daddy g, in a recent email, that it IS time to begin a new chapter in my life,and close the previous. and someday perhaps when someone needs encouragement, I would like to open up this hard-hit chapter and share from it.
I think I still might have to face up to certain realities of the consequences, but I fear No more. because I know God is with me. There are many things i can do better e.g. the way i handle friendships and er.. money. its gonna be a hard fight, but im determined to do well.
It never was about me, my pain, the event itself, my fall, the lesson learnt. It was about Him. All about Him. His plans, His will, His glory.
bearing this in mind, I enter this new chapter with more confidence.
God works in amazing ways, and I think Im really blessed to be able to experience this throughout my research.
"The impact of blindness and other smoking-related diseases in motivating smokers to quit smoking and non-smokers from starting smoking."
saturday at bedok cc, i interviewed a malay man who is a chronic smoker.
a couple of min after the survey was done, he waved to me and said:
"I want to quit smoking la.. Ive tried but failed, can you tell me how i can go about doing this?"
im glad to be able to help someone improve their health in even the smallest ways possible.
2nd incident, last night at siglap linear park, concerning a beautiful young lady in her twenties who also is a chronic smoker.
sarah:"mdm, i need you to sign this consent form....."
lady: (signs form and smiles to herself)
lady: (as she signed..) "are you a christian?"
sarah:(taken aback) yeah, i am. how did you know? thats scary....
lady: (laughs to herself and pauses) "God is telling me something today..."
boyfriend in the background: "to quit smoking."
when God uses little things in me for His purposes and glory...
its beyond words.
this broken clay jar is grateful.
IT had been boiling up, accumulated fears, dissatisfaction, disappointment and lost for several months now.
i never thought rise up above the aftermath of that hard-hit chapter.
But i was wrong, nothing is too difficult for God to achieve, and it is done when you believe and call out to His great and mighty name, it is done, when we proclaim in the name of jesus Christ, according to His will.
now, the responsibility lies on us, to let go of that yolk and lay it at the foot of the cross.
Jesus is always calling out to us, i believe.
as in ailing's blog she wrote:
But the spirit within us cries out, (ailing), THERE IS A GOD, I AM HERE, I LIVE WITHIN YOU.
My father cries out for me,in the midst of my flesh being weak.
My Father is a father of relationships, he cries out for me.
We need so much in our time and age to be reminded that GOD IS HERE,VERY MUCH ALIVE, VERY MUCH SOVEREIGN, VERY BIG, VERY MIGHTY, VERY ABLE...
That gave daniel the strength to stand strong and stand firm.It's not something He felt, it was something He knew and fought hard to remember.
ive learnt over this year especially, that we faith is not a feeling, and our relationship with God should never be measured against human feelings. because feelings are FAR TOO fragile. they are here today and gone tomorrow. how can a relationship with an utmost majestic and divine God be built on such a shaky foundation? it will definately crumble over time, through hardship and the vices of this world.
I would like to see my rela, with jesus as a 2 way commitment and promise, one that was made the very moment i accepted Christ as my personal Lord and saviour. He promised to be always be there for me, WITH me. and i believe i have also committed myself to always love and serve, in times of blessings and in seasons of suffering. it is difficult to walk, often, because that is the nature of the flesh-"There is NO God!" syndrome, So all the more we Need to fight hard to remember we have the spirit in us, and the spirit cries out for usand to us "The living God is IN You."
yes, i agree with daddy g, in a recent email, that it IS time to begin a new chapter in my life,and close the previous. and someday perhaps when someone needs encouragement, I would like to open up this hard-hit chapter and share from it.
I think I still might have to face up to certain realities of the consequences, but I fear No more. because I know God is with me. There are many things i can do better e.g. the way i handle friendships and er.. money. its gonna be a hard fight, but im determined to do well.
It never was about me, my pain, the event itself, my fall, the lesson learnt. It was about Him. All about Him. His plans, His will, His glory.
bearing this in mind, I enter this new chapter with more confidence.
God works in amazing ways, and I think Im really blessed to be able to experience this throughout my research.
"The impact of blindness and other smoking-related diseases in motivating smokers to quit smoking and non-smokers from starting smoking."
saturday at bedok cc, i interviewed a malay man who is a chronic smoker.
a couple of min after the survey was done, he waved to me and said:
"I want to quit smoking la.. Ive tried but failed, can you tell me how i can go about doing this?"
im glad to be able to help someone improve their health in even the smallest ways possible.
2nd incident, last night at siglap linear park, concerning a beautiful young lady in her twenties who also is a chronic smoker.
sarah:"mdm, i need you to sign this consent form....."
lady: (signs form and smiles to herself)
lady: (as she signed..) "are you a christian?"
sarah:(taken aback) yeah, i am. how did you know? thats scary....
lady: (laughs to herself and pauses) "God is telling me something today..."
boyfriend in the background: "to quit smoking."
when God uses little things in me for His purposes and glory...
its beyond words.
this broken clay jar is grateful.
sunday 16th july: oh we visited my godma before 5pm service and after lunch. look what we found from my late grandfathers stuff: an old pic of his kids. my mum is the tallest one there! my godma is the 2nd daughter, and my fav uncle is the cute little kid. we're going to visit his family this sunday and ill show u my little cousins, they are as cute as caleb !!!yeay!
sunday, 16th july: was a really busy day. i was down for worship at the 830,1030 and 5pm main services at church (sanctuary singing eh!). hence we all had to be dressed in blazers and stuff. lunch: we went to mt faber safra for chinese food-grandmas bdae celebration with the extended family. night: FL dinner and CGL commemoration night.boy it was tiring...but exhilarating. that day changed me (write up soon)
brother collecting his cert. real funnie: FL has implemented this graduating ceremony for jc2/18 yr olds, who are about to move onto their next stage in life-YAM. this is the first year they are doing it, and my brother happens to be in this batch:)yeay!!!he's really grown and matured a lot, thank God so much for His blessings in this boy's life.Thank God for Frontliner's (BMC's youth ministry) wonderful environment tt has provided us with endless opportunties to grow and serve. Thank God for cgls who nv stop toiling for the kids:)
the firstfruit and goshen girls!!!! we were in the cell since sec 1! 8 years ago!!!jane wong(bottom left) is leaving for aussie this week to do psychology. all the best babes! from the top left: valerie (going to denmark for exchange!), selene, jolene, myself, jane, edlyn.still not forgetting those who werent there with us: pet in perth, joanne in NZ, natasha in canada, kristy in NY and jasmine and gen!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
wednesday evening, i returned from worship prac shagged. and mei mei and i decided to have some bonding session thru photo whoring. haha. we went a bit offfff... but it was good fun. I love my meimei though she 1)doesn look like me at all 2)is an irritating pesky roommie who doesn off the lights when i wanna sleep! 3)doesn keep the room neat-im obessisve haha. 4)scolds me all the time as if shes the older sister. 5)sucks me dry of my money when she asks for food 6)has the worst temper ever and is a bum who doesn do housework! BUT 1)she massages my neck when it hurts 2)hears me whine and lets me do it as if im the baby one 3)tolerates my unconttollable sobbing when i do sob 4)always covers my dark secrets for me haha 5) lets me dance and be vain all the time 6)is cute and intelligent and playful 7)because shes my one and only irreplaceable sister.
back
YEAY, im taking a break, to blog- is this a waste of time? sigh, nvm.
Ive been so so busy and TIRED.
Just cant narrate to you how PHYSICALLY and mentally exhausted ive been.
for the past 2 weeks, ive been running around hopsitals.
the first week was bad- AH in the morning and mount e. in the afternoons.
stand stand stand, learn learn learn. brain being pushed to work harder than usual:(
now, ambika and i are getting down into the heartland-surveying door to door.i speak mandarin 70% of the time. and its HARD to explain accurately medical conditions.
all of kinds of people we met-nice kind uncles, demented ah pos, frantic housewives, fussy working women. rather amusing.
however, the research sample size is 1000- GOD,please help us.
oh, yes, ambika and i are working on a paper-opthalmology-blindness and AMD (age-related macular degeneration) on smoking behaviour (in layman terms).
6 weeks! for data collection, tabulation, analysis, writing of paper... i dun think we can finish!
so does it mean my DREAM to return to cambodia has been busted?
im lookign out for signs...but i guess even if i manage to complete all my tasks by mid agugust. my daddy wun release me to the mission fields. ud understand why if youve known me well and long enough.
been sitting on it for the past 1 week, havent prayed enough i confess.
its time to pluck up some courage and face up to it. i have yet to bring it up to discussion with my family. guess, id pray and intercede hard before that, but if things dun work out the way i hope they would, i know God has better plans, as He always has.
then again, missions is my heart and my passion!it just gives me so much joy, and purpose living tt life!
well.. we'll see.
been a maid for my family as well. our new maid has yet to arrive. and all of us ahve been working our butts off. im officially the ironing woman and floor cleaning person. 7 peoples clothes to iron and many many rooms to clean. -im not complaining-
i think id be doing tt quite a bit when ive got my own place next acad yr!
i owe many people many meetings.. charlene & clara, YJ and derek, selene and ed,patricia, 409, 3G, my sue cha cha, hanling...felt bad for turning them down many times, but schedules been too tight, and i need some personal space!
saw big g off yesterday. we had dinner with most of the glasgow peeps in singapore.
it was nice, seeing everyone again. but nice is all i feel, as compared to me meeting the YAMmers. mixed with the nice-ness is this bittersweet familiarity, which causes my mind to drift to things of the past. im shakened, even feel threatened and vulnerable when i meet them. lost. it shouldnt have been this way, but i made mistakes.i guess, it was a fall that was almost too hard to bear.
im turning 20 soon.
finally, the big 2.
those who have been here several years ago (haha!), will prob think its no big deal.
yeah, maybe it isnt.
but i think it isnt a coincidence that my life was shaped in such a way, tt before i turn 20, im made to think real hard and LONG about what ive done in the past 5 years, and what i might be destined to do in the future.
i cant figure out the exact details, and i would like to sit back, relax, and take things as they come.
yup, some things can be handled this way.
but some cant.
there's too much out there to achieve while im young-personal opinion.
not only in terms of my professional development-yeah doing such research and medical attachments etc.
but like wingyee mentioned, a certain aptitude and altitude in me-as a person.
learning to communicate with all sorts of people, and not just on a hi-bye level, but to possibly enter their world, understand them, speak to them, and share with them.
to develop skills, independence, maturity, kindness, purity.
to travel, to see the world and all sorts of cultures, to learn to live amongst such.
to do all the things i always wanted to do but never had the chance-
work in an african orphange for a while (months)
sail on a missionary ship
visit the highlands
enter a latin dance competition
do a formal surgery before i graduate from med sch haha
diving
climb K2
visit the backstreet alleys in the states and learn dance from em!
set up a dance school for delinquents
hold an evangelistic music and drama concert in glasgow
work in chinawhite. haha.
and i feel im still at base camp yeah?
may God endorse them and walk with me to fulfil these dreams.
i;ve got a feeling, im gonna be surprised. big time.
Ive been so so busy and TIRED.
Just cant narrate to you how PHYSICALLY and mentally exhausted ive been.
for the past 2 weeks, ive been running around hopsitals.
the first week was bad- AH in the morning and mount e. in the afternoons.
stand stand stand, learn learn learn. brain being pushed to work harder than usual:(
now, ambika and i are getting down into the heartland-surveying door to door.i speak mandarin 70% of the time. and its HARD to explain accurately medical conditions.
all of kinds of people we met-nice kind uncles, demented ah pos, frantic housewives, fussy working women. rather amusing.
however, the research sample size is 1000- GOD,please help us.
oh, yes, ambika and i are working on a paper-opthalmology-blindness and AMD (age-related macular degeneration) on smoking behaviour (in layman terms).
6 weeks! for data collection, tabulation, analysis, writing of paper... i dun think we can finish!
so does it mean my DREAM to return to cambodia has been busted?
im lookign out for signs...but i guess even if i manage to complete all my tasks by mid agugust. my daddy wun release me to the mission fields. ud understand why if youve known me well and long enough.
been sitting on it for the past 1 week, havent prayed enough i confess.
its time to pluck up some courage and face up to it. i have yet to bring it up to discussion with my family. guess, id pray and intercede hard before that, but if things dun work out the way i hope they would, i know God has better plans, as He always has.
then again, missions is my heart and my passion!it just gives me so much joy, and purpose living tt life!
well.. we'll see.
been a maid for my family as well. our new maid has yet to arrive. and all of us ahve been working our butts off. im officially the ironing woman and floor cleaning person. 7 peoples clothes to iron and many many rooms to clean. -im not complaining-
i think id be doing tt quite a bit when ive got my own place next acad yr!
i owe many people many meetings.. charlene & clara, YJ and derek, selene and ed,patricia, 409, 3G, my sue cha cha, hanling...felt bad for turning them down many times, but schedules been too tight, and i need some personal space!
saw big g off yesterday. we had dinner with most of the glasgow peeps in singapore.
it was nice, seeing everyone again. but nice is all i feel, as compared to me meeting the YAMmers. mixed with the nice-ness is this bittersweet familiarity, which causes my mind to drift to things of the past. im shakened, even feel threatened and vulnerable when i meet them. lost. it shouldnt have been this way, but i made mistakes.i guess, it was a fall that was almost too hard to bear.
im turning 20 soon.
finally, the big 2.
those who have been here several years ago (haha!), will prob think its no big deal.
yeah, maybe it isnt.
but i think it isnt a coincidence that my life was shaped in such a way, tt before i turn 20, im made to think real hard and LONG about what ive done in the past 5 years, and what i might be destined to do in the future.
i cant figure out the exact details, and i would like to sit back, relax, and take things as they come.
yup, some things can be handled this way.
but some cant.
there's too much out there to achieve while im young-personal opinion.
not only in terms of my professional development-yeah doing such research and medical attachments etc.
but like wingyee mentioned, a certain aptitude and altitude in me-as a person.
learning to communicate with all sorts of people, and not just on a hi-bye level, but to possibly enter their world, understand them, speak to them, and share with them.
to develop skills, independence, maturity, kindness, purity.
to travel, to see the world and all sorts of cultures, to learn to live amongst such.
to do all the things i always wanted to do but never had the chance-
work in an african orphange for a while (months)
sail on a missionary ship
visit the highlands
enter a latin dance competition
do a formal surgery before i graduate from med sch haha
diving
climb K2
visit the backstreet alleys in the states and learn dance from em!
set up a dance school for delinquents
hold an evangelistic music and drama concert in glasgow
work in chinawhite. haha.
and i feel im still at base camp yeah?
may God endorse them and walk with me to fulfil these dreams.
i;ve got a feeling, im gonna be surprised. big time.
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