All About You

im back from a holiday in London, Paris and Manchester!

London-great accomodation at south kensington, hyde park gate, awesome shopping!, great food!!!nicest mojito ive had, cool city=)
Paris- pretty buildings, captivating versailles,great zara shopping, glamorous big brands (but its too expensive to afford!), lovely language i like it!, delicious nutella crepes, cheap but nice beer, dirty city, wet weather, rude people, mediocre food.. all in all, nice place but not my favourite cup of tea
Manchester-good trafford centre to shop, nice friends, nice food (which i didnt eat!, but i dun like it!!! boring boring....
glasgow- home is where the heart is. 2nd home, 2nd home **

daddy says he will go to italy with me next easter, mum cant go cause its the school term. i say NO! Italy is too romantic, its suicidal to go with your parents , ambika says. haha! i agree!! Venice, rome, florence... awww! maybe dad can take me to Milan.. i dun mind! haha

daddy was so funny. he called me randomly at 12pm glasgow time.. singapore 7pm?
apparently, he was on the sheares bridge, and there was a long jam. He said he got bored and so he called me. and he complained about the jam for so looong. haha so cute!

glasgow..
i missed it when i was gone.
missed the solitude i have when im in my room alone, missed the company of my friends.
but now that im back...
my friends have disappeared into their own holes!!!
im left to study study and study in the SL and my little room,
and choreograph 45 8s!
and listen to spanish music
and watch grey's anatomy, havana nights and honey...
and cook!
and lose weight!

it IS a LOT of things to do.. esp revising.. but the progress is SLOW..
just hope to do 2 PBLs a day for now, and speed up later.

i fought with someone that day.it got real bad and we started shouting at each other, hurling mean and crude and really hurtful stuff. i dunno what sparked it off, prob months of accumulated tension-doubts, disappointments and anger.
it takes weeks and months to build that trust that was never even wholesome, and a few seconds to blow it. we've never fought this brutally and it shook me quite a bit.
it made me feel really awful that night, even after countless apologies.
but the next morning strangely, it gave me a certain kind of peace.. and comfort.
maybe it was the sense of release, and maybe the truth did set me free.
also the comfort in knowing i did not misbelief.

ironically, that incident led to the making of peace and ending od a long drawn cold war. its good, i guesss.

still a little sadness, a little pain. but im starting to look beyond. theres no point in staying.. because.. life isnt fair.

watched grey's last night and i saw a little of myself in meredith.her "choose me. pick me. love me..." line, and "the truth bout the truth is it hurts.. so we lie."
haha

sounds cool. but quite rubbish.
how far can we get by lying to ourselves?
what purpose does it serve to focus on things that wun matter for eternity, or er.. in a years time maybe?
what good does it serve for everyone to place my energy and effort in this?
sarah... GOD IS JEALOUS FOR YOUR HEART!

Paris

In Paris... It is nothing but beautiful.
Musee du Lourve
Eiffel
Champs elysee
Versailles and the grand trianon
monmarte
moulin rouge
notre dame
rer & metros
and shopping! haha

its a romantic city thank God for the opportunity!
i hope to travel with my mummy and daddy soon! lets try... Italy??

no london pls!!! and i miss dim sum- char siew soh

been thinking and praying quite a it...as what carol calls as haggling...
its been difficult not getting answers...
and i still m lost in Job. i need helppp....
truth and trust.
infatuation and lust.
rights and freedom of will.
justice and pride.
humilty.
confession.
repentence.

The Lord gives and takes away; blessed be His name...

Happy 21st Birthday Jean

the last time i wrote one whole long post and then deleted it was many many months ago, when i was back in singapore. i just did it!

im glad i finished community diagnosis report. one big load off my mind and shoulders. the sense of accomplishment is great...

a lot to give thanks for:
1)aunty's report is good!
2)jeans birthday party went well
3)jean and i are getting better=)))we are happie babes
4)jean is getting happier as well.
5)my future flatmate tony offered his place to stay in manchester
6)im sick but i finished com diag in 7 hours
7)im sick but people fed me
8)my frog was sewn up by tony
9)i realised i can do many many things on my own, and i should stop depending on people so much.

next on...
travelling UK and Paris, leading the 2 boys
cooking, which i will resume when i return from my trip
getting thru year 1 and studying hard
looking for a flat-well, we've started!
dance- one big challange. choreograph and get everything sorted in 3 weeks.

But if God wills, He will see me through.

reflecting on the past school term..
i realised ive been convicted of many of my sins.
been wrong in many ways..
and i have decided to change..for the better.
things have gotten better since last term.. managing life overseas and yeah, just as a person..
but theres still loads i gotta learn to go a longer way.
i have been wrong and sometimes its hard to admit im wrong,but it must be done.
been tired.
cause ive been putting in quite a lot of effort into work, playing, resolving issues and just living...maybe tts why my body crashed at the end of term.

just one more. no 2, hurdles to go this week and ill be okae. but its one i do fear.. one that requires lots of courage and strength. but i guess, itd be a turning point.

i dunno why, but i feel some things will change in my life after this week, and after i return from my trip. intuition might be wrong... as it was proven so.

but never mind.. no point thinking..
im glad for tomorrow. an afternoon off for myself so i can regain clarity of thought and blog more coherent posts.

i just had to blog this, need to write things down somewhere.
need to make a point, perhaps.
heard some news at cell tonight that made me quite sad.
that reminded me of my own situation.
i just had to say this...
I really do not know the reasons for many sad events in life,
i still do not understand why many a times, you do not get in return what you have given. so much.
when it was genuine.
i still do not understand emotions.
i do not even know if i can trust my own feelings.
was what i used to believe in, merely a fanatsy i built for myself?
The Lord gives and takes away..
maybe He will take away mine, just as He took away many others.
Love is a choice. but yes, i was reminded, one made by 2 people.

maybe the truth is:
we are merely clay, and its the potter's right to do whatever He deems best for us.
maybe we should look beyond life right now, what we want, and what we think the world can offer, maybe then, we open up ourselves to a brand new world of opportunities and joy- from a source that i believe i can trust most.
maybe the truth is we fear the unknown too much, and we lack faith in the One who knows the beginning and the end, and the reaons i never knew.

i need a place of rest and shelter and protection.

This post is for a friend who had lost.

a million things to do. 1 person. 24 hours/day.

Thursday:
revise pbl 2.3/2.4
outline community diagnosis report
start on "lung cancer" PBL 4.8

Friday:
CDproject presentation
complete PBL 4.8
cell group
text the whole world......
powerpointsssssss
mayflower with jean?

Saturday:
town with ambiki
PRINT and COLLECT rail tickets and plane tickets to london/paris/manc.
chinese supermarket
major cooking session
"work work work work"
DUN FORGET TO CALL MARISA!!!

Sunday:
church
book hotel tickets in paris
accomodation in manchester
community diagnosis report

and a lot of things like
looking for acc for polly
laundry
flat hunting for next year!
getting my revision schedule sorted out
going to med sch office
filling in hepB forms
getting my passport photocopied
checking out paris and alton towers
settling summer jobs.
and...
so much more!!!!!
i dunno where to fit them in...
help help help!

this is a mini organiser for me to remind myself of what i need to do, and for people to remind me as well=)

for now.. its revision on the thoracic cavity/pneumothorax and possibly lung cancer.

PS: thanks guoliang for helping me with the tagboard, cheers.

erratic behaviour 2

kenneth's surprise birthday party was a hit!
he Was really surprised... though things didnt work out as planned cause of weiyao's bad timing skills. haha but he enjoyed his surprise by his baby.. awwwww....
xiaolin prepared a ppt slide show for him and us, cause she couldnt fly over from sing. happy 22nd brother bear!

sean refused to walk the lake behind gartnavel hospital at midnight.
niece and jonathan as well.
so at 2am, chris and i decided we shall cycle to loch lomond the following morning, in 6 hours time. haha. i didnt know what i had gotten myself into obviously..

we managed to drag keneth along!

so at 8am, i got the bike from weiyao's place, and keneth, chris ho and i set off from patick cross. we prayed before that. haha.

the journey was long and ardous.
i still thought we could make it to and back.
i guess i overestimated my abilities...
4.5 hours.. my first ever cycling trip..
through sunny weather and heavy snow.
the weather in glasgow IS erratic.
but chris says God is good, he allowed us to go through all sorts of weather changes, it was an expereince of a lifetime!
kenneth's interpretation of the snow :God's way of saying He gives and takes away.
haha.

we cycled on roads, on pavements, on all sorts of groudn basically. up and down hills, across narrow bridges, beside rivers and woods.... it was soooooo amazing! i wish i could pass trough this litte narnia once again, not cycling of course.. just my spirit moving.. haha. couldnt capture everything on camera, as it would have slowed us down so much.. but the next time i do it again, ill defintely take more photos!

a physically draining experience, i almost went delirious..but the sense of acocmplishment at the end of it was worth it. a natural high! why do people need alcohol or drugs or any other vices???

erratic behaviour 2 after sushi.
spontaneous and exhilirating.
whats next???

chippies never tasted so good before......

how cool!!!!!!!!

after cycling for 20 miles... and 4.5 hours, we finally reached Loch Lomond, Balloch. chippies for lunch!-kenneth's treat=)

chris ho and i! doesnt he look like a ninja? haha. chris was our cycling expert. repairing the gears and leading us all the way... cool!

it was snowing heavily when we stopped the 3rd time.. 5 miles away from loch lomond, 15 miles away from glasgow. it was feeeeezing!

on the way to Loch Lomond, think we were only 1/4 way through. many more nice places which we didnt stop to take photos! But the scenery was so beautiful!!

smoothie by alfred.. and my ah pa.. gordon.

US!!!!!

ambika..slacking. alfred, eating and working. sarah.. most hardworking!haha

jeanie baby, ambikiiii, saraaaahhh.i really do treasure this 2 friends a lot.. i hope they will always be happy wherever they go, whatever they do.

jean's mega sushi!!!!! hahaha

me acting cute... haha sorry guys

presenting... the master chef!!! haha... but ackowledgements go to dr hamster.. who did a lot a lot a lot....!

me cutting the first sushi i made!!!!!

testing and growth

photos will be uploaded real soon.. but for now, ive got a less funky, more reflective post to blog.

i went through this many years ago in secondary school..someone, whom will always remain as a special friend to me. haha i dunno if she knows its her im talking about..but yeah, i hope you do. and i know ud understand..
those were the days.. so innocent. and a little silly. but defnitely real.

so much so, that i can almost sense a repeat of history again. just a little different this time.

relationships between people.friends.
someone else reminded me tonight that communication is very important in a relationship. (goodness i didnt even think this applied till i blog at this very moment! coincidences???)
yes indeed it is..
so is trust, mutual respect, and i still believe above all, is love.

how come then, is love so easily tainted by things of this world? of pride maybe... of selfish desires and needs..

im not speaking as a victim of anything..
or pointing towards anyone.

im just asking myself about things in general.
love of others. My own love to friends i perceive to give out..
is it that pure? is it genuine? is it impartial?
such that there is no justifiabke reason for others to doubt.

i still believe, the good intentions but perhaps insensitive mannerism.
you can only feel hurt when you have loved right...