"For the pagans run after these things, and your heavenly father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and these things will be given to you as well."
-Matthew 6:33
Where does our hearts lie?
Who do we dream for?
What do we want MOST?
don't always ask God to change circumstances, but ask God to change our hearts.
I first did that on my first mission trip to Selangor.
how frigtening it was to ask for something which can potentially bring me immense pain and trouble--"God, change my heart?" who knows what He will do to me? more trials? more heartache?
yet, i thought, if we don't take the chances with such, we'd never know what lies in store for us, over on the other side. if we are truly convicted that He is the Lord of all, creator of all, and holds everything in control, if we truly believe that He has the best plans for each and every single person-believer or not.
why cant we just surrender our lives to Him?
what right do we have to hold on to the best of us, our hearts? our souls? our bodies?
why must we put conditions on this faith?
why must we shortchange Him, and in turn ourselves and those around us from the BEST in life.
we find all sorts of reasons and excuses, we "temporalise" (zolar's triggers for consultation hahaha).
we wish and wonder for people around us to change.
but have you wondered..what if they dont? what if they never?
what if they will only do so when they witness the supernatural change in our lives?
it always is our choice isnt it?
sounds harsh, but someone has got to say it.
don't always ask God to change our circumstances, but rather ask God to change our hearts.
what do we want most?
Who do we dream for?
Where do our hearts truly lie?
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Breathe
DON'T LET THE GOATS EAT THE LOQUAT TREES
Adventures of a Surgeon in Nepal
-Thomas Hale
Dr Hale is an incredible storyteller and his book is most difficult to lay aside. It makes the amazing and almost unbelievable expriences of a medical doctor in a mysterious land come alive. Be prepared for an utterly delightful account of serving God in the enchanting and "closed" mountai canopy of Nepal.
-Ted Engstrom, President, World Vision.
At the end of his introduction it is written:
"several years before our departure for Nepal, I fully rededicated my life to Christ. I happened to be reading the book or Revelation, and there I discovered (or, better, redscovered) these words addressed to the Christians in Ephesus: "I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance...Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.." (Rev 2:2-5).
How could I have overlooked these verses for all those years I cant say, but i suddenly saw God was giving me one last chance. And I took it. A few paragraphs further on, my eye rested on the well-known words of Jesus that had meant much to me years before: "Here i am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me" (Rev 3:20)So I opened the door, and He came in. He had been waiting there all the time."
Forsaking the first love.
i am convinced it is not merely a syndrome of a fading sentiment,
but it is as well reflected through our actions, words and thoughts.
the greatest commandment in the bible says
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind, and love your neighbours as you love yourself."
how is it supposed to be like when we have truly loved our neighbours?
who sets the practical standards for demonstrating love?
what happens when we err...
does one mistake condemm all that it was worth?
I question myself everyday,
how i have loved my neighbours, or how, i Have not loved them.
it never is black or white.
i never am satisfied.
thats why i am convinced i should never stop trying.
yet when caught in the middle of crossfires, misunderstood intentions and actions and the conequences of 1's own mistakes, the trying seems to become more challenging.
it seems easier to adopt a "heck care its okay, itd be over, this is life anyway" attitude than "be sad and reflect deeply and constantly pray for the relationship".
dwelling into it too deeply is pointless and drainning,i highly agree.
yet if we lose the heart to feel sad for a shaken friendship,
doesn it mean worse- where is tt love that is supposed to bind christians together? where is it, where is it? That gentle, patient, non-jealous, steadfast, unfailing, self sacrificing love?
i find it too difficult to reconcile the reality that loving our neighbours and loving God are 2 seperate entities. How can one say he loves God if He doesn love His neihbours?
it sears my heart deep to see and to hear of such.
But it hurts most when i discover myself, guilty of it.
i guess, yes, we are imperfect.
but "our inability to lead a perfect life does not condemn us to lead a bad one...the point of the race is not to win, but to finish it." -thomas haleIm grateful for a 2nd chance in Christ.
tough...to love like He did. but we gotta keep trying dun we...
taking one step at a time, each day on its own... with determination
we'd reach there soon enough.
Adventures of a Surgeon in Nepal
-Thomas Hale
Dr Hale is an incredible storyteller and his book is most difficult to lay aside. It makes the amazing and almost unbelievable expriences of a medical doctor in a mysterious land come alive. Be prepared for an utterly delightful account of serving God in the enchanting and "closed" mountai canopy of Nepal.
-Ted Engstrom, President, World Vision.
At the end of his introduction it is written:
"several years before our departure for Nepal, I fully rededicated my life to Christ. I happened to be reading the book or Revelation, and there I discovered (or, better, redscovered) these words addressed to the Christians in Ephesus: "I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance...Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.." (Rev 2:2-5).
How could I have overlooked these verses for all those years I cant say, but i suddenly saw God was giving me one last chance. And I took it. A few paragraphs further on, my eye rested on the well-known words of Jesus that had meant much to me years before: "Here i am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me" (Rev 3:20)So I opened the door, and He came in. He had been waiting there all the time."
Forsaking the first love.
i am convinced it is not merely a syndrome of a fading sentiment,
but it is as well reflected through our actions, words and thoughts.
the greatest commandment in the bible says
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind, and love your neighbours as you love yourself."
how is it supposed to be like when we have truly loved our neighbours?
who sets the practical standards for demonstrating love?
what happens when we err...
does one mistake condemm all that it was worth?
I question myself everyday,
how i have loved my neighbours, or how, i Have not loved them.
it never is black or white.
i never am satisfied.
thats why i am convinced i should never stop trying.
yet when caught in the middle of crossfires, misunderstood intentions and actions and the conequences of 1's own mistakes, the trying seems to become more challenging.
it seems easier to adopt a "heck care its okay, itd be over, this is life anyway" attitude than "be sad and reflect deeply and constantly pray for the relationship".
dwelling into it too deeply is pointless and drainning,i highly agree.
yet if we lose the heart to feel sad for a shaken friendship,
doesn it mean worse- where is tt love that is supposed to bind christians together? where is it, where is it? That gentle, patient, non-jealous, steadfast, unfailing, self sacrificing love?
i find it too difficult to reconcile the reality that loving our neighbours and loving God are 2 seperate entities. How can one say he loves God if He doesn love His neihbours?
it sears my heart deep to see and to hear of such.
But it hurts most when i discover myself, guilty of it.
i guess, yes, we are imperfect.
but "our inability to lead a perfect life does not condemn us to lead a bad one...the point of the race is not to win, but to finish it." -thomas haleIm grateful for a 2nd chance in Christ.
tough...to love like He did. but we gotta keep trying dun we...
taking one step at a time, each day on its own... with determination
we'd reach there soon enough.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Thank You
i spoke a lot to God today.
so much in a long while,
I guess I have been depending more on my own strength than i should, recently.
I havent been the best I should,
nor have i tried hard enough.
sunday's sermon on compassion convicted me.
"sarah, You havent been loving your friends, family, strangers, the ugly and unlovable, your adversaries, as sincerely and as purely as you should"
it was quite difficult to come before the Holy One with a whole baggage of sinful confessions.
perhaps, it was pride-the root of all evil.
so hard to embrace the fact that we have fallen short of the glory, and always, even in the smallest ways, harbour selfish ambition and un-loving motives,
but its true.
i have.
the bible says,
"God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble."- james 4:6
I pray He will continue to change my heart, its attitudes, as I offer up my life.
I pray he will grant me wisdom, strength and determination to complete this journey.
In actual fact, I was really comforted to be able to tell Him everything.
He's closer to my heart than any physical friend is and can be.
he understands everything, better than i can understand myself.
He accepts my shortcomings, and all idiosyncracies any other human cannot possibly bear.
He always forgives me for all ive screwed up in life.
He offers me 2nd chances after major mistakes ive made.
He has the best plans for me.
more importantly, his love demonstrated the ultimate of sacrifice.
His love is deeper and far more powerful, far more breath-taking than that any man can offer.
and this itself is one of the greatest comfort i have, one of the greatest pride in my life, something i can truly boast about with confidence.
He is my knight in shining armour.
Ive found The One,
have you?
so much in a long while,
I guess I have been depending more on my own strength than i should, recently.
I havent been the best I should,
nor have i tried hard enough.
sunday's sermon on compassion convicted me.
"sarah, You havent been loving your friends, family, strangers, the ugly and unlovable, your adversaries, as sincerely and as purely as you should"
it was quite difficult to come before the Holy One with a whole baggage of sinful confessions.
perhaps, it was pride-the root of all evil.
so hard to embrace the fact that we have fallen short of the glory, and always, even in the smallest ways, harbour selfish ambition and un-loving motives,
but its true.
i have.
the bible says,
"God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble."- james 4:6
I pray He will continue to change my heart, its attitudes, as I offer up my life.
I pray he will grant me wisdom, strength and determination to complete this journey.
In actual fact, I was really comforted to be able to tell Him everything.
He's closer to my heart than any physical friend is and can be.
he understands everything, better than i can understand myself.
He accepts my shortcomings, and all idiosyncracies any other human cannot possibly bear.
He always forgives me for all ive screwed up in life.
He offers me 2nd chances after major mistakes ive made.
He has the best plans for me.
more importantly, his love demonstrated the ultimate of sacrifice.
His love is deeper and far more powerful, far more breath-taking than that any man can offer.
and this itself is one of the greatest comfort i have, one of the greatest pride in my life, something i can truly boast about with confidence.
He is my knight in shining armour.
Ive found The One,
have you?
Sunday, August 13, 2006
9th August 2006- I attended my first National day Parade at the Kallang Stadium. and it shall be the last too, cause they are gonna renovate the entire place. pull it down 1st, rather. it was a lovely day:)weather was good. Dad got us 3 grandstand tix, sis and bro didnt wanna come, so i had an outing with my parents, the 1st time since i came back for the hols!Happy 41st Birthday Singapore! May God Continue to watch over the nation and grant us peace:)
8th August 2006-- RGS connect dinner committee appreciation dinner, at "Da Chang jin" restaurant at Yes! leisure building, Shenton Way... korean food rox! this was just an example of the spread we had. appetisers! we also had tofu soup with kimchi, BBQ black porkie and beef, and seafood pancake and pumpkin soup!yum yum, thanks Dr Jean!
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